shortchanged

1. As *nsync would say, "God must have spent a little more time on you." What, exactly, did God spend more time on?

^_^ tehpeanut

2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protesters do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?

irate customers... because they just don't understand that i have no control over policy and my catering to their whim makes it easier for my boss to fire me. they'd probably pelt me with scratched up DVDs

3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?

Kermit the Frog and Scarlett Johannsen

4. What flavor of diet coke do you next want?

water flavored...

5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.



6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?

Martha Stewart... its a good thing.

7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?

i was laughing really hard and it was at my friend's birthday party. i laughed more.

8. Tell one crazy "I can't believe how drunk I was" story.

man, this one time, i was so fucking drunk. i was at my girlfriend's house, and we were having a party because her mom was out of town and her dad was out fucking some little girlfriend of his. i got so pissfaced that i fell asleep in his bedroom. after everybody left, i got up to take a piss. hand all up against the wall and half awake, less than half awake, her dad opens the door, flicks on the lights, and says "son, you better be washing those clothes you're pissin' on" then he put me in the shower and turned it on.

just kidding, i've never been drunk.

9. Ideal Christmas stocking?

kitty

10. Who is Britney Spears' soul mate?

bottle of vodka and a freshly poured concrete slab

11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?

Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World

12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.

180

13. Ever puked and run? Tell us your story, then join our club. http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=puke_and_run

i was sleeping once, and i woke up puking. jumped out of the bed, spraying vomit on the floor, the closet door, the tv stand, the dresser, the bathroom door... by the time i made it to the damn toilet, i was done.

14. Tell one "too tired to finish masturbating" story, then join our club. http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=2tired2finish

um, i dunno, usually if i'm too tired i won't even start...

15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.

i've had a kitty on my christmas list since i can remember
i like christina aguilera's music
i've been to 8 concerts all by the same band
i wanted to be a dentist when i was 6

16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture (just to make us smile).



17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?

baked brie
filet mignon
cheesecake with chocolate truffles and a white wine strawberry reduction

18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?

"lower your voice"

19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?

Picasso



20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?

uh, no, i'm afraid of death by snu snu

21. Whats your favorite animal? show us.



22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?

red... cuz its preeeeeeeetty

23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.

a key... a switch... a button... no, j/k, nudity gets me hot

24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal' ?

3 million and 2

25. Why are ball gags sexy?

because you can tell someone "SHUTUP!" and laugh at them because its not like they can really respond... they've got a gag ball in their mouth... HAHA! sorry....

26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?

i think those soft silicone things they use for baking should be used for ice cubes, man, those hard plastic trays are a bitch...

27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?

uh, if i had the pic still i'd show you what tehpeanut did to my back... lets just say i should've gotten stitches...

28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, you're a fucking whore.

someone i could really talk to

29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?

i'd be really offended if someone called me a chocolate covered banana... because i'm not.

30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner

i'd wear it, oh yeah.



Tag five people: okay, i'll bite... tehpeanut, cherry, lolablu, mrtom, billhaverchuck