I'm well jizzed off!! I've just written my heart out here on a more lengthy than usual blog about my current life situation and inspiration during this holiday I've just taken. After punching in a fair amount of auto analysis i wanted to include some pictures, could not load them directly from my htc 8X, thought maybe the féisbuk link would do. Only for it to totally fail. So here we go again.
Bottom line of what i wanted to say is that I'm stuck in a shitty rut with a numpty semi retarded work colleague who gives me nothing in return. The dude is incapable of even making a sandwich properly, yet alone cooking for me a little something ad i do every night for the whole nights team. Neither do my superiors get me something to eat either for that matter. I feel such a mug when i cook a hit meal while this workmate of mine practices his snooker. Sometimes My job is like a bad relationship , you know, like when you feel like they've stopped stimulating you, while failing miserably to return your loyalty and hard work. On the other side, i really enjoy my job most of the time so its not all bad, Thing is that the bad is getting worse.
So basically I need a job divorce! Its amazing how a good time out on holiday inspires us to get our arses in gear and sort some shit out.
I hope this kick arse energy lasts, a ski break usually energizes me for months. So it should last.
With a bit of lucky luck I'll be doing something about this working nights situation and moving on to greener pastures. Though I do know that not always is the grass greener on the other side. To be honest, i could not care less is it is straw i must chew on for a while. Knowing for well there is usually a M&S dumpster full of societies waste that will get me through the rough times.
Fact is, I live in a bit if a well known shithole of a town while working in a pretty environment in Windsor. Great little hotel, where the Rocky Horror Show film was filmed to be precise. The job is pretty damn Cushty and such a pretty little castle of an old house. I do really love the old place, that's probably why I've stayed there so long. Just over 5 yrs now. And of course the fact that I'm practically king of the castle for 8 hours 5 nights a week makes it all better. Having the keys of an industrial kitchen to mess around with is a bonus worth taking some shit for...
But a Rut is a RUT! So:
Time to take a leap of faith i think. I'm pretty good at what i do, so should be able to knuckle down and be more diplomatic British and less Spanish in my direct approach to work issues. Fuck me i never knew how petty the English can be while talking.
Matter of fact I've just lost my rag with my mother over her comment that blogging your heart out to relative strangers is stupid.
Fucking generation gap, plus a different countries mentality installed in me.
My problem is that I'm caught between two worlds, I've been classed mostly as a foreigner growing up in Spain while Now back in the Uk I'm an outcast oddball too.
I think that is the root of my frustration. The fact us that the Spanish have adopted me as one of them, not like the English. Very much the opposite i get from the Brits. More of a go fuck yourself is what i perceive as a norm.
in Spanish we say "y que me quiten lo bailado" meaning roughly you can't take away the good times I've had. But now its more a case of having to find a balance between my two personas to fit into my present situation now back in England persuing pounds and needing to get to Spain with the idea of establishing myself somewhere nearer to my now aging parents. Mother just got me angry by pointing out my anger and frustration without really asking why or perhaps trying to empathise a bit. Yes i hate the layers of corruption and greed that have completely screwed up my beloved Spain. I blame the German minds for masterminding the whole fracas. And of course. Simple long going things like the fact in the uk we must pay over a hundred pounds for the privilage of watching tv winds me up after spending a week watching perfectly brilliant Free Spanish. Tv licencing sets me off into a sort of rage as if I where Che Guevara. Yes! Fuck You BBC!! Fuck you and your shitty antique shows.
Why not be more productive and show the people a better way of finding decent used goods like a decent brand of old used toasters, microwaves and blenders you could pick up on the cheap?
It kinda bums me out a bit that there is little help or advice for the general public, I know fir a fact that many people are in need of some life skills. So, i reckon the box should aim at showing some more helpful stuff. Again, fuck that tv licence. What a rip off! Sadly us Brits just take it. I certainly don't like being ripped off or taken for a ride. But that's what we all usually get. Its frustrating!
Now I need to make up with la mamma after getting really annoyed at her comment of rating it rather stupid to spend time typing to relative strangers any old story. My reply was in a rather angry manner: explaining while shouting "Stupid?? Whats stupid about getting bad shit out of your system?? Never ever underestimate humanities kindness, empathy and intelligence".
Fuck! I'm rather frustrated these days. When are people like my mum going to get into their skulls that the great majority of so called alternative folk with tattoos are nearly Always much better people than those plain clothed wankers, tie wearing thieves who have messed up the world.
Messed up world indeed, i just hope we can sort out the anger and hatred floating around. Religion is not really helping either. Hell yeah, you give me a magic wand (work wonders with a Hitachi one), but a decent Hogwarts one. Id wave it so hard that we'd all adore the Sun again. To me it makes sense, no sun no life.
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Time elapsed, four hours later its now just gone 2 in the afternoon.
Went out shopping with the main lady, had a cuddle or 2 and talked about life very openly. We've exchanged good ideas over a quick meal together, so we're all feeling a lot better. :)
Back to life now for a minute, I got most of my goodies from various supermarkets, all snacks and cold meats to take back home. Including ColaCao, stuff of legend that here in Spain. Chocolate drink of the highest-level.
Waw I'm much more back to my usual self now. Its difficult to be in that angry state for long. Rant Done I feel better. Thanks for putting up with my nonsense if you are still here.
Be assured that it's only made me more committed to sorting my shit out. Getting a bit mad from time to time is the way
Its my last day here at home, so I'm going to make the best of the milder climate and go for a long walk along the cliffs here in Torrevieja before returning to whatever is going on in the land of doom and floods. I'm told my motorbike was nearly blown over a week ago in gale force winds. As my mate put it: "you're lucky its a really big ass machine". So I'm eager to get back and check it. For those who wonder, I ride an old Yamaha TDM 850. The old girl always manages to put a grin on my face.
Well, if you're still reading it means you probably have little else to do.. I feel compelled to say thanks a million for listening. Now I've got the knack of this i may well be up for blogging up some other more interesting stuff.
Holiday pictures to follow. I could not handle loosing all this text. Mostly Senseless Albeit ;)
Best regards and good energies I wish you all.
Daryl