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Been a few days and I need to write a few words.

I have been able to fight the urges that has bogged me down for years. It's not easy, yet it's what I have to do. I have been given a second chance, so I don't want to ruin it this time, REALLY, REALLY I don't.

It's a struggle within to fight and stay...
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Today was a rough ne and I am not going to lie, I was not feeling it at all. Guess the thoughts ran over me today in a major way. I feel I am pulling back from life and friends. Decided not to associate with some over the next few weeks, like my pre-planning? It's nothing against them of course, I just don't feel safe...
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Today was a good day for me, no cravings, no ED. I did have thoughts, always have thoughts, always will probably. Didn't act on them, laid low and got past it.... SO FAR.

Cant believe I put myself through that again.
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seth_:
Oh, and as for Barcelona, walk as much as you can. It's actually not that big of a city and you see so much awesome stuff and different neighborhoods that way. Also, we did one of those hop on hop off buses, which was a total tourist indulgence, but sooooo worth it! It was beautiful and easy that way. And, be sure to wander around the Barri Gotic as there are some good eats in there!!!
shluitsbluits:
Thanks so much!
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I am at a crossroads, get better or keep deconstructing myself. I was REALLY good for a period and have fallen off, actually being dragged by that DAMN wagon now.

What do I choose? It's not my choice at this point, I would like to sleep and make it all go away. It has such a hold and won't let go, I know I must...
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