I'm watching bad cable TV and getting my fill of disgusting popculture and guiltily enjoying it.
Jessica Simpson - or is it the other one? - says something so sickeningly stupid about love or life or something that shouldn't be trivialized this way, goddammit, that the novelty of watching idiots bare themselves for the camera is lost and not even funny anymore and I can't watch. I change the channel to TLC but even that infuriates me today with its life-improving reality shows that aren't even reality at all.
I think about the time I watched my colt born and he ran toward the sun so fast and awkward I thought he'd hit the fence. The time I laughed so hard at something tiny and insignificant that I ran off the road and I was so hysterical I could only sit there and laugh for fifteen minutes. The time I went sledding with my brother and we slid down on our bellies like penguins and the air was cold and crystal and the sky was so fucking blue it almost hurt to look at it. The time I was surfing and a dolphin slid up next to me and I could have reached out and touched it if I wanted but I was so amazed that all I could do was stare and laugh out loud until I fell off my board and came up laughing even harder. The time I was driving across the country and the sun was so bright and the sky so blue and the cornfields so green and endless and there was one big white cloud in the sky and I thought maybe heaven existed in fucking Nebraska. The time I went to Costa Rica and saw a sloth and it moved so slow it had moss growing in its fur and I had never seen anything so silly and amazing. The time I skinny-dipped in the middle of February in the snow and the river had ice chunks in it and I came up so cold I couldn't even scream. The times I felt alive.
Jessica Simpson - or is it the other one? - says something so sickeningly stupid about love or life or something that shouldn't be trivialized this way, goddammit, that the novelty of watching idiots bare themselves for the camera is lost and not even funny anymore and I can't watch. I change the channel to TLC but even that infuriates me today with its life-improving reality shows that aren't even reality at all.
I think about the time I watched my colt born and he ran toward the sun so fast and awkward I thought he'd hit the fence. The time I laughed so hard at something tiny and insignificant that I ran off the road and I was so hysterical I could only sit there and laugh for fifteen minutes. The time I went sledding with my brother and we slid down on our bellies like penguins and the air was cold and crystal and the sky was so fucking blue it almost hurt to look at it. The time I was surfing and a dolphin slid up next to me and I could have reached out and touched it if I wanted but I was so amazed that all I could do was stare and laugh out loud until I fell off my board and came up laughing even harder. The time I was driving across the country and the sun was so bright and the sky so blue and the cornfields so green and endless and there was one big white cloud in the sky and I thought maybe heaven existed in fucking Nebraska. The time I went to Costa Rica and saw a sloth and it moved so slow it had moss growing in its fur and I had never seen anything so silly and amazing. The time I skinny-dipped in the middle of February in the snow and the river had ice chunks in it and I came up so cold I couldn't even scream. The times I felt alive.
But what you really want to do is this: Go buy a copy of Brian Eno's Another Green World (best buy has them). Get a bottle of saki and body pillow. heat the saki, Roll a joint. Put the album on, smoke the joint and do a couple shots of saki. begin to masterbate, but don't loose focus on the album, bite the pillow if you have to. Try to climax just as robert fripp peaks the guitar solo on St. elmo's fire. Once you've come melt into the rest of the record and hot saki. You'll either loose your mind or wake a new person. Either way it is change. Which brings us back to Neitzche. -shua