shimarisu

Ugh, I'm fucking sick of the other supervisors telling others that they don't think women should be promoted and that no female supervisor has lived up to expectations... who knows what else they've said? I don't, but I'm sure they've said other things. It really is starting to bug me, and I don't know if I should go up to the managers and complain, or go up to my fellow supervisors first and be like "Look, I have heard this from more than one person--what the hell do I do that is so much worse or different than you guys? Get the job done?" Yes, I have boobs... No, I don't have a penis... that makes no difference. You have to have a fucking penis to be respected at the Rave, I swear to god. I'm not the first girl to say it.

I'm so frustraited with the place, and not only for myself or for sexist reasons... they hire a female manager probably only because she's female and they need to look like they're not being sexist... they should have promoted me, I'm just as compitent, if they'd give me the chance. Hell, I'm more compitent than most of their managers. And it's not me being cocky, it's me being realistic. They don't promote employees who deserve it. It's just so screwed up.

Now I make jokes about women--a lot. I've joked with male friends that they have to say "Woman, ___" in order to get me to do something for them, rather than "please" But when it comes down to it, as long as it's a joke I'm fine with it...I make fun of myself for being white, I guess that could be seen as a problem--but I don't discriminate against people because of whatever--I just accept the fact there are differences... and I love some of them, hate others... but that describes my feelings twoards people in general. I never used to think of me being a woman as being a big deal, yeah... it formed my personality partially, but still. Maybe they shouldn't promote people whose father's died before they were born, or when they were very young? Maybe that's why I'm inadiquate compaired to them? Maybe it's because I'm the only supervisor with blue eyes? Or blonde hair? There are plenty of women promoted to higher positions for the sake of being "fair" that don't deserve it and shouldn't be it... and there are plenty of guys promoted for... I don't even know what stupid reasons, at the Rave.... the fact all our good supervisors were leaving, etc.

Ugh, I don't know what to do... this is the first time I've ever actually beein upset because I do feel discriminated against due to my fucking private parts. I mean, I can't even trust my fellow supervisors...

But next Saturday I'm supposed to spend the night with the absolutely lovely Vinta! I'm so excited! I love her to death, and her boyfriend will be there and our other friend... and there will be drinking and makeup and boobies. Just what I need.