Wow I really don't like people. I had a great night though. I haven't had this great of a night since the last really great night I had. I love my friends. But man, I hate people.
I'm not someone who likes to ask something more than once so when I find myself doing it, I get sick at myself. I've been makin a lot of really BAD choices lately. Really bad decisions....I deserve something really good to happen. I deserve it and I'm still waiting. I won't wait much longer. I will not sit and wait.
I expect too much from people. I give people too much credit when I know better. I know human nature. I know better. I still trust. I should act like I know better instead of just hating how I knew people would be in the first place. No one is different. It's all the same. I'd love to know someone truly original. I am so sick of fuckin average and predictable....whats with everything and everyone being so fuckin average and predicatable...I'd pay a dollar cash to meet somebody who could actually surprise me. Same old same old same old same old....... and I'm changing daily and nobody sees it but me...and I'm waiting patiently for a sign...no one knows it but me...and I take risks and I understand that chances are given and not taken...I accept...flawed acceptance no doubt but with gracious intentions nevertheless... I need to give up is what I need to do. I need to stop this faith I need to stop wishing because I usualy get what I ask for and it's always pure unadulterated shit. I'd love to not get what I want and get something sweet instead...
I'd like to act like I talk and I'd like to talk like I think and I'd like to think like I love...without hesitation.
I must be tired I'm going on and on and on,.... I'm angry and sad and hurt and confused because I had a really really good night and I haven't had a good night like tonight in a lonnnng lonnnng time, like since the last time.... No other night this year has come close to being as good as tonight has been. I love my friends. But I hate people.
why am I so angry? maybe not angry but tired....maybe not tired but fed up...but not really...just bored with it all. I'm bored with myself and the situations i allow myself to fall into...i am bored with how stupid i've been in dishing out way too much way too often way too soon. I have no regrets, just reassurance that people are all essentially the same and no one no matter what they say or think is any different than the rest of the crowd no matter how hard they try to seem isolated.
truth is weakness...the truth isn't weak, the truth is my weakness...for a pretty face and all the wrong choices....a multitude of misjudgements....except when I'm right, I'm always wrong ...I don't have to worry about figuring out whats the difference anymore. Anyways , I've known all along. Its ben naggin tuggin at the back of my mind.... You're a smart girl actin like a stupid bitch...bitch quit thinkin this bitch quit thinkin this... I don't get it. I'm sleepy- I'm gonna go to sleep I think. I can't sleep though. I wish I cOuld sleep.. no one's up to talk to and no one's around who I really feel like listening to talk...I am not mch of a conversatiomalist and I can't spel iether.
I've never been more confident in knowing one thing in my life as I am in knowing this:
"_________________________ ."
And that's all I have to say about that.
goodnight....~shicawgo~
I'm not someone who likes to ask something more than once so when I find myself doing it, I get sick at myself. I've been makin a lot of really BAD choices lately. Really bad decisions....I deserve something really good to happen. I deserve it and I'm still waiting. I won't wait much longer. I will not sit and wait.
I expect too much from people. I give people too much credit when I know better. I know human nature. I know better. I still trust. I should act like I know better instead of just hating how I knew people would be in the first place. No one is different. It's all the same. I'd love to know someone truly original. I am so sick of fuckin average and predictable....whats with everything and everyone being so fuckin average and predicatable...I'd pay a dollar cash to meet somebody who could actually surprise me. Same old same old same old same old....... and I'm changing daily and nobody sees it but me...and I'm waiting patiently for a sign...no one knows it but me...and I take risks and I understand that chances are given and not taken...I accept...flawed acceptance no doubt but with gracious intentions nevertheless... I need to give up is what I need to do. I need to stop this faith I need to stop wishing because I usualy get what I ask for and it's always pure unadulterated shit. I'd love to not get what I want and get something sweet instead...
I'd like to act like I talk and I'd like to talk like I think and I'd like to think like I love...without hesitation.
I must be tired I'm going on and on and on,.... I'm angry and sad and hurt and confused because I had a really really good night and I haven't had a good night like tonight in a lonnnng lonnnng time, like since the last time.... No other night this year has come close to being as good as tonight has been. I love my friends. But I hate people.
why am I so angry? maybe not angry but tired....maybe not tired but fed up...but not really...just bored with it all. I'm bored with myself and the situations i allow myself to fall into...i am bored with how stupid i've been in dishing out way too much way too often way too soon. I have no regrets, just reassurance that people are all essentially the same and no one no matter what they say or think is any different than the rest of the crowd no matter how hard they try to seem isolated.
truth is weakness...the truth isn't weak, the truth is my weakness...for a pretty face and all the wrong choices....a multitude of misjudgements....except when I'm right, I'm always wrong ...I don't have to worry about figuring out whats the difference anymore. Anyways , I've known all along. Its ben naggin tuggin at the back of my mind.... You're a smart girl actin like a stupid bitch...bitch quit thinkin this bitch quit thinkin this... I don't get it. I'm sleepy- I'm gonna go to sleep I think. I can't sleep though. I wish I cOuld sleep.. no one's up to talk to and no one's around who I really feel like listening to talk...I am not mch of a conversatiomalist and I can't spel iether.
I've never been more confident in knowing one thing in my life as I am in knowing this:
"_________________________ ."
And that's all I have to say about that.
goodnight....~shicawgo~
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
friends are great, it's the people who suck. that's always been the case. so, hate away.
and wouldn't we all like to act how we talk, talk how we think...etcetcetc.
if you didn't know, you were listening to kool keith. well, that's what i'm thinking. i have similar songs on a cd my housemate burned for me. she likes kool keith a lot-pure laugh values only. but his lyrics get even better than what you heard. classic.
i dunno whats with me and feet, but when a girl has cute ass feet i wanna do all sorts of nasty things....
i like hip hop....not as active as i should be.
keith haring is a gay artist from the 80's. Andy Warhol helped him become big. i got 2 tattoos of his work. um.....
i dont have any friends in my list cause i dunno how to make friends here i guess. i'm not active in the boards and i dunno....
thats my story...ask more questions and you'll ge tmore answers.
good to see you back. thanks for the complement on my glasses.
yup.
~*dino*~