Thursday Aug 05, 2004 by Shicawgo

I have an excessive amount of files, a greater amount of theories, and far too much time on my hands....

So check it. I tried to go running yesterday. My ankle hurt. So I stopping trying. It's 4am now and I can report my ankle has morphed into a giant and torturous pain factory the size of Conan O'Briens head. This gets filed as an example in my Bad-things-happen-to-me-when-I-try-to-do-something-good Theory.

"I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about."

Peter Griffin Filed under If-you-don't-like-The-Family-Guy-I-Most-Likely-Don't-Like-You Theory)

So as I was saying...it's a little after 4am and I'm sitting here with a healthy portion of yum sticky white rice, cherry koolaid jammers, a belly fulla vicodin, and I'm all alone. It's so quiet that you'd almost think something was wrong. But if something terrible was gonna happen some dark and ominous background music would start to play. And I don't hear any...yet. That's my Dun-dunt-duuuuuuhhh Theory

Anywho, like I said, I'm alone. I keep hearing people talk about being lonely. At least five people right now that I talk to on a fairly regular basis are lonley. Three are guys...and two are just really big girls. Now, I know about being fat, but DAMN those girls don't cry... Don't get me wrong, they're my girls and I love em. But let's call a spade a damn spade. And a HEFFER a damn HEFFER, okay? I've been there, I can say that. It's like a jew telling holocaust jokes. I have that right.

It's a funny thing (odd- not haha) being a fat white girl. You are absolutely defined by your size. The worst thing in the world, as in the scariest, to a fat white girl is a skinny white man. Oh my how you people like to torture you some big girls... . Damn you white boys sure know how to hurt people. Let the bitch eat her lunch in peace man. Go make fun of a retarded kid or something. Take a break.

Other ethnicities aren't quite so nazi-esque about the weight whole thing. I've always been a black girl at heart (and at ass, for that matter). To me black girls are at the top of the list of the most influential and important people in todays society. Most people don't see it. And that's unfortunate. But black girls grow up to be black women and they are the gate keepers to the future of intergrated cultures. And effectively integrated cultures are the key to a peaceful society. IMO. It's a very big job. Black girls put up with a lotta shit...who they are, where they're from, how they talk, what their name is...It's not their fault if their parents gave them some ridiculous name with apostrophes and hyphens and shit. White folks got some fuct up names too yanno...That's all part of my Not-Much-Is-Worse-Than-Being-Named-Bertha Theory.

Anyways wtf was I talkin about? Oh my Opposite-Of-Alone Theory ...yeah point is I don't get lonely. Like maybe a half a dozen times in my life I've felt that. Maybe if I got lonely more often people would mean more to me. Maybe if I felt really bad being only with myself I'd seek out relationships more ferverently. But I'm totally comfotable not relying on someone else being around to feel....the opposite of alone. I like lonely people but I have to wonder if they like you or just like your company. At least with me you know that if I'm talkin to you, it's exactly what I want to be doing.