shhhlistennn

I love my friends. It feels good to have people you can be your self with and they love you for it.

It's spring break..that doesn't mean much for me because I just get to work more.. super. Anyway, Friday was the start of it, and oh what a start it was. It was the best night I've had in soooooooo long. We drove around while they were looking for alcohol. I had my captin so I was already set. So, we get the alcohol and go to the elementary school to drink. I haven't drunk there in years heh. Anyway, Margee and I are taking shots. We take like 5 each before we move on to Dan's house, but neither of us are even feeling anything. It was weird. I usually can get drunk off 4-5 shots. I'm a little girl.

Anyway, we go to Dan's where we take many more shots. And it was soooooo chill like it wasnt a party it was just like 7 of us chilling in Dan's room. We had some awesome ass deep conversations. I love Dan and I love Bryan. Bryans my boy since elementary school and I will love that bitch forever. He's one of those people if I stopped talking to for like ten years and I ran into him I'd freak out and hug him and shit. Most people you just kinda ignore or say whats up.. but no I'd jump on Bryan.
Thennn about 5:30am we all go to Dennys and that was sweet. **Denny's has better pancakes than Double T**

I'm just feeling good and loving life right now.

I try to help my depressed friends. It's so hard to bring them to the light heh. They have to do it themselves. Everyone needs to figure it all out them selves. They're not going to listen to anyone else. That's just how we are.

----
hours later...

I've lost topic. I don't know what I was going to say.

Ryan and I went to the library. He got a yoga for dummies book and I got Fight Club.

I just read like 20 pages in my car. I was suposed to meet some kids up at the play ground but then I get there and they're playing kick ball. Fucka kick ball. It's cold outside. So, I sat in my car and read some.

Maxx randomly called me today. It made me happy.
I like random phone calls. I love talking to people; once I can work up the courage to talk, that is. But, once I do, I can talk and talk and talk. I have so much to say. I have strong opinions about some things but, I'm so open to new ideas and I love to hear what other people think about things.

Share your world with me. I'm SO interested.

I love how people are. I love their stupid faults. I love how funny they are. I love them. I love you.

Stupid sluts, hicks, stoners, uptight assholes, brains, jocks.. where would we be without you? Ha We neeed you. We'd all be the same and boring without you. We need some one to look up to and someone to feel better than. It's how we do.

rambling like a mother fucker

---

this boy

i don't need a boy. i don't want a boy.
i'm better off without one.

but this boy gets to me

i haven't even thought of him in a while(im lieing, i did today)

i dont want to be with him. i dont even know what i want

just him..he gets to me

i'm a fan..a very big fan of him and everything he does and says...the beautiful things he creates.

he's lost just as we all are and i like him for it.

i saw him today for the first time in a while.

he was crossing the street and i was like 'wtf was that..?'

then i turned around..i got scared so i just beeped, waved, and drove away.

that like 15 seconds of seeing him made my tummy feel all TFY$G%^HR%EH%&!

i kicked myself for not stopping.

i'm so nervous and out of my element around this kid.

it's so not cool and so..cool? at the same time. lol

ok done thinking about him and that..fuggit

----

Life is good. Is it not?