shema

It's the first blog of the month! That's what I was trying to illustrate, with that video. Add the word blog in between first and of, and it works perfectly.

So, did everyone enjoy celebrating the brutal torture, and death of a man, yesterday? Did you have fun with that, you sick bastards? I know I did. I spent the majority of Easter (or as I like to call it, Make Me Feel Guilty Until Christmas Day) watching every Jesus related film ever made, on the classic movie channel. Religious affiliation, be damned. They actually made some good Easter/Jesus related films, back in the day. My favorite is King of Kings. Where Jesus is played by the unrealistically good-looking Jeffrey Hunter.My favorite part is at the end of the movie. Where Jeff's shadow appears and commands the disciples (should disciples be capitalized?) to go out and spread the hypocrisy, to every living creature. I always try to imagine what I would have done, were I in that situation. I'd like to think I'd be the only one to stay behind. And try to ask Jesus a few questions. Before his zombie form takes off into space in order to return to kill me, sometime in the near or far future.

Anywho, I have a question to ask. Since I hate getting haircuts. And am too poor to afford to pay for them, anyway, I've decided that it's time to take drastic measures. So by a show of hands (or bras maybe? ), how many of you think, I would look as sexy, if I were bald? I mean really bald. Like no hair on my face except for my eyebrows, bald. Because I realize that mother nature will only allow me to grow a spotty beard, at best. And I think a goatee makes me look like a dad. I got the clippers charging in the bathroom, as we speak. But I'll wait until all the votes are tallied, before I make my decision. Your thoughts, however smart-assed they may be, are greatly appreciated.

What else have I been up to, that no one gives a shit about? Oh, I decided to begin a jogging/slow trot routine, now that it's not so cold that when I go outside, I die. That kind of frigid weather is to be enjoyed with a good book and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Not for jogging. But, I waited too late to go. And anytime after noon is too late to me. Because I hate the sun. Oh well...better luck next Spring.

I applied for enrollment into a community college, last week. I haven't had any success getting into school for the past, oh I don't know, ever? So if it falls threw this time, I won't be giving it anymore chances. Sometimes, you just gotta know when to pussy out. Maybe I'll be able to get a job robbing stagecoaches. Or mining for gold in Silicone Valley. Oh! I could become a professional Facebook troll! I'm good at that. Or so I've been told. I have 97 cents, to my name, as of this morning. I should take a picture of my bank account. And send it to Oprah's Help-A-Brother-Out Program.

That's it.