So I had a conversation with my uncle over what I should do about my current financial "difficulties". He thinks I should rejoin the military. Specifically the Army. I don't know how I feel about that. I was in the Air Force for about 4 years. And that wasn't the best experience of my life by any means. And admittedly it was mostly because of my own doing. I struggled through basic training. Flunked out of the first technical school and nearly flunked out of the second. Got in trouble a lot. And was terrible at the job I was forced into. Then when I finally get the hang of whats going on, I get what is basically the equivalent of a lay off. Or in military jargon, "force shaping".
I couldn't believe what I was being told. After all that crap they give you about never having to worry about losing your job as a servicemen, they bring us all together and say they're gonna cut half our bases workforce because of the wars in Iraq and they can't afford us anymore. Gee thanks the fuck a lot, Uncle Sam. Let that be a lesson to anyone considering the military. While I would never try to discourage anyone from deciding to serve their country, I would advise you be smart. And take a realistic approach to what your getting yourself into. The military is a business just like any other. And they will get rid of you the second they don't need you. Have a plan for yourself. Don't put all your eggs in that basket.
Getting laid off from the military was when I first realized that the service, and the country as a whole was starting on a slippery slope down into the slop bucket. A bucket that has since filled to the brim and is now cascading down on to the floor below. So I don't know if I want to put myself back into a position where I'm completely at the mercy of the U.S. government and have forfeited all rights and privileges given me by the Constitution. Wait...haven't I already lost most of that shit anyway?
Now it wasn't that I didn't like being in the military. For all the crap I went through in the short time I was in, I enjoyed being a military man. It was an accomplishment. Albeit a lackluster one. Being in the military gave me a purpose to my life. I knew what I was doing, where I was going and what was expected of me at all times. I had respect. Not so much from the people I worked with. But definitely from the people I worked for. Especially after 9/11. Civilians would stop me on the street when I walked around wearing my camo gear or dress blues (which I tried to do as often as possible) to show their appreciation. Yea, it was very shallow of me to parade myself around, but dammit I looked good in my uniforms. I still look good in them. Old people would go out of their way to come thank me for what I was doing. White people would stop to talk to me instead of running across the street out of fear that I might rob them. I was somebody special and important. And a million times I wanted to tell them "I don't do anything. I'm a shitty Goodyear shop mechanic at best". But it wouldn't have mattered to people if I had. I was apart of a select few who decided to put their lives on the line for whatever the gov'ment decided to point us at. The real 1% of Americans. That's one of the several reasons I'm against this whole occupy the country movement. I don't see any of these supposedly despondent and unemployed protesters occupying a recruiters office. But I do see you blocking traffic and raising my already high tax bills from the city for law enforcement and cleaning up the mess you leave behind. But that's a story for another day...
Civilian life since I got out has been shit. Total shit. If I had known beforehand that this would be my fate after I got out of the force, I would have wrapped myself around one of the legs of my CO like a goddamn spider monkey and begged him to keep me in. I've tried to rejoin every faction of the Air Force since my discharge (still managed to get an honorable, bitches lol) but they wont take me. Why? See the first paragraph. But I still have a chance to join the Navy or Army before I'm officially too old to enlist. And especially the Army. They'll take anyone. Hell they forge HS diplomas so gang bangers can join for Christ's sake. What's one more misfit to the branch gonna hurt? Maybe that's where I should have gone in the first place, lol.
You definitely get more respect as a sailor or soldier as I've learned through the years. And by respect I mean copious amounts of sex with women. The Marines are by far at the top of the ass-grabbing food pyramid. Followed closely by the Navy, who will absolutely fuck anything that moves. Which is why I wish I hadn't supported my eldest niece in her decision to join the syphilis Corp. Nice going, dumb shit. Now if she doesn't come home with an STD she'll come back with a kid from some ass hat she met at the base grocery store. Which is pretty much the same as having an std as far as I'm concerned. I guess that's what I get for trying to be supportive as opposed to my usual pessimistic doom and gloom viewpoint on life. Lesson learned.
But the Army gets laid a lot too. I rarely got anywhere as an "airmen" with the ladies. And with a name like Airman Gantt, I understand why now. That shit ain't sexy. Other service members have cool names that precede them whenever they hit the clubs or bars. With the Marines you don't even have to say anything. You fuck, or you die. It's that simple. The Navy calls their guys seamen. Which laughable as that may be, when you walk up to a woman wearing that all white suit, they pretty much have to know what their getting into. But the Army has a perfect call sign for romance...soldier. And it doesn't matter if you haven't fired a gun since basic training, just belonging to the group that does a lot of the shooting is enough to get you at least some play. But the Air Force gives you nothing to go on. The only locker room story I have that's worth telling is when I went out to New Mexico for a month to do border patrol. Which was even more of a slight to being in the service. They sent us to go do someone else's shit, lol.
The Air Force doesn't get a lot of respect from other services to begin with. We were always getting made fun of for our 9-5 casual dress work schedule. Our 3-star or better lodging requirements. And we really took a lot of shit for our weak physical fitness exams. Which I still couldn't manage to pass the first time around. All I gotta say is that if human beings were meant to run we would have evolved fucking hooves instead of feet. So bite me, drill seargent. And we always found ourselves trying to explain what it is that we actually do to the other services. Yes we provide air support or "superiority" as we are sure to emphasize on T.V. But unless you've really fucked up on the ground and you have to pull a Mel Gibson in We Were Soldiers and call for help, you didn't need us.
The Air Force even gets the short end of the stick in entertainment industry. I've never heard a song dedicated to being an airmen. And all the movies and T.V. shows have been about every branch of service except the one I was in. Everyone always says "Well Tom Cruise was a pilot in Top Gun wasn't he?". Yes, he was a NAVY pilot. That's the only reason for the spike in air force recruitment after that movie came out. People were joining mistakenly thinking Tom was in the Air Force. He was not. Tom's always been a Navy man. Even when he became a JAG officer and went after Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, he didn't do is as an airmen. Nobody wants to do anything as an airmen. The only Air Force movie I've ever even seen was Good Morning, Vietnam! With Robin Williams. When I saw that for the first time I was sure someone had made a film based on what I would go through in the future. Watch that if you want a clearer understanding of what Shema was like as a servicemen. Only difference between me and Robin's character is that I was skinnier, younger and had a better sense of humor.
I couldn't even generate support for the Air Force here on SG. When I first joined this site, I submitted a request to create an Air Force group so I and my fellow air people could meet and share our stories of exclusion and disrespect. I was vehemently denied. They told something along the lines of we already had site for the Air Force here. No the fuck you didn't. No the fuck you still don't. Not a separate service specific group like the Army and Marines groups. The combined SG Military group does not count. They don't even talk about the Air Force in that one. So what group were you talking about? The Pen Pals. That began my frustrations with this site, lol.
But it just made me see all the more clearly how short changed the Air Force is in the coolness department. And were all about technology now. So we've completely and officially become the nerds of the military. And being a nerd has only recently become cool (thanks Bob!
). So maybe if I did jump over to the tent-living side of the service I can walk into a nightclub and be treated like a hero as opposed to being mistaken for an usher (Yes, that actually happened one time. Fucking marines...).
And its not that I don't want to be apart of the nerdy side of things. I totally do. I just would like to be able to conceal that nerdiness under the disguise of a bad ass. Because that's how I roll. And looking at some of the jobs the Army offers on its website, I can totally accomplish that task. That's if I make it out of the technical school this time.
I don't know why I had such a hard time going through my first tech school. I studied and participated in class. And I thought for sure that I was computer literate enough to make it through the course. But I had to realize that taking one Mavis-Beacon Teaches Typing class my senior year in high school does not a tech savvy person make (thanks public school!). Maybe I don't test well. Or maybe and probably the most likely of scenarios, is that I'm a fucking moron. And if I do join the Army I should just take being a chalk board eraser as my job and be done with it.
I don't know. I'm just tired of bumming around from job to pointless job hoping that if I can manage to stick around long enough, they might make me an assistant manager. And then I can finally afford to pay for the things like a car and an apartment that most people have had since they were fucking 14. I also have new nieces and nephews coming up behind me. And I don't want another generation of family members to see me living on my grandmothers couch watching The Price is Right and no money to even buy them a friggin egg mcmuffin for their birthdays.
People say its not about what you buy for someone but the love you give them that really counts. And I say that's horseshit. My dad was an abusive, alcoholic cradle-robbing asshole. But if he had gotten me a car when I came of age I would have at least gone to see him in the hospital before he died. I didn't get anything. So neither did he. And I suppose these same people would say that me passing out hugs and kisses on my nieces birthdays is enough and that I didn't need to buy them any gifts. But these same people don't have to sit across the table and look in my nieces upset/disgusted faces when they realize that Uncle Shema couldn't even get em a birthday card because hes been wearing the same fucking pair of blue jeans for the last 4 years. So shut the hell up. It totally matters what you have in this life. "Well you can't take any of that money with you when you die." No, but I can give whatever I've amassed in this life to people who need it so they wont have to endure the cesspool of poverty and exclusion that I had to go through, you dickhole. Sorry...that was for any religious person who happens to read this blog...
So what do you guys (and by guys I mean the 3-4 people who actually read my blogs, lol) think I should do? I told my uncle that I would at least go talk to an army recruiter just to see what he had to say. So I'll if only to keep my word. But I don't know. Time is ticking and my options are decreasing. I just want to be able to look back on my life and be able to brag my ass off about what I've accomplished like my uncle and not have it be me just talking shit that I know can't be verified by anyone else. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Unless it's something I don't agree with. Then it'll just get deleted, lol. Pssh. I'm such a dick sometimes...
P.S. I'm gonna label this blog under the category of naked pictures as a tactic to get more people to read it and respond. Learned that trick in the military, lol. Be easy!
I couldn't believe what I was being told. After all that crap they give you about never having to worry about losing your job as a servicemen, they bring us all together and say they're gonna cut half our bases workforce because of the wars in Iraq and they can't afford us anymore. Gee thanks the fuck a lot, Uncle Sam. Let that be a lesson to anyone considering the military. While I would never try to discourage anyone from deciding to serve their country, I would advise you be smart. And take a realistic approach to what your getting yourself into. The military is a business just like any other. And they will get rid of you the second they don't need you. Have a plan for yourself. Don't put all your eggs in that basket.
Getting laid off from the military was when I first realized that the service, and the country as a whole was starting on a slippery slope down into the slop bucket. A bucket that has since filled to the brim and is now cascading down on to the floor below. So I don't know if I want to put myself back into a position where I'm completely at the mercy of the U.S. government and have forfeited all rights and privileges given me by the Constitution. Wait...haven't I already lost most of that shit anyway?
Now it wasn't that I didn't like being in the military. For all the crap I went through in the short time I was in, I enjoyed being a military man. It was an accomplishment. Albeit a lackluster one. Being in the military gave me a purpose to my life. I knew what I was doing, where I was going and what was expected of me at all times. I had respect. Not so much from the people I worked with. But definitely from the people I worked for. Especially after 9/11. Civilians would stop me on the street when I walked around wearing my camo gear or dress blues (which I tried to do as often as possible) to show their appreciation. Yea, it was very shallow of me to parade myself around, but dammit I looked good in my uniforms. I still look good in them. Old people would go out of their way to come thank me for what I was doing. White people would stop to talk to me instead of running across the street out of fear that I might rob them. I was somebody special and important. And a million times I wanted to tell them "I don't do anything. I'm a shitty Goodyear shop mechanic at best". But it wouldn't have mattered to people if I had. I was apart of a select few who decided to put their lives on the line for whatever the gov'ment decided to point us at. The real 1% of Americans. That's one of the several reasons I'm against this whole occupy the country movement. I don't see any of these supposedly despondent and unemployed protesters occupying a recruiters office. But I do see you blocking traffic and raising my already high tax bills from the city for law enforcement and cleaning up the mess you leave behind. But that's a story for another day...
Civilian life since I got out has been shit. Total shit. If I had known beforehand that this would be my fate after I got out of the force, I would have wrapped myself around one of the legs of my CO like a goddamn spider monkey and begged him to keep me in. I've tried to rejoin every faction of the Air Force since my discharge (still managed to get an honorable, bitches lol) but they wont take me. Why? See the first paragraph. But I still have a chance to join the Navy or Army before I'm officially too old to enlist. And especially the Army. They'll take anyone. Hell they forge HS diplomas so gang bangers can join for Christ's sake. What's one more misfit to the branch gonna hurt? Maybe that's where I should have gone in the first place, lol.
You definitely get more respect as a sailor or soldier as I've learned through the years. And by respect I mean copious amounts of sex with women. The Marines are by far at the top of the ass-grabbing food pyramid. Followed closely by the Navy, who will absolutely fuck anything that moves. Which is why I wish I hadn't supported my eldest niece in her decision to join the syphilis Corp. Nice going, dumb shit. Now if she doesn't come home with an STD she'll come back with a kid from some ass hat she met at the base grocery store. Which is pretty much the same as having an std as far as I'm concerned. I guess that's what I get for trying to be supportive as opposed to my usual pessimistic doom and gloom viewpoint on life. Lesson learned.
But the Army gets laid a lot too. I rarely got anywhere as an "airmen" with the ladies. And with a name like Airman Gantt, I understand why now. That shit ain't sexy. Other service members have cool names that precede them whenever they hit the clubs or bars. With the Marines you don't even have to say anything. You fuck, or you die. It's that simple. The Navy calls their guys seamen. Which laughable as that may be, when you walk up to a woman wearing that all white suit, they pretty much have to know what their getting into. But the Army has a perfect call sign for romance...soldier. And it doesn't matter if you haven't fired a gun since basic training, just belonging to the group that does a lot of the shooting is enough to get you at least some play. But the Air Force gives you nothing to go on. The only locker room story I have that's worth telling is when I went out to New Mexico for a month to do border patrol. Which was even more of a slight to being in the service. They sent us to go do someone else's shit, lol.
The Air Force doesn't get a lot of respect from other services to begin with. We were always getting made fun of for our 9-5 casual dress work schedule. Our 3-star or better lodging requirements. And we really took a lot of shit for our weak physical fitness exams. Which I still couldn't manage to pass the first time around. All I gotta say is that if human beings were meant to run we would have evolved fucking hooves instead of feet. So bite me, drill seargent. And we always found ourselves trying to explain what it is that we actually do to the other services. Yes we provide air support or "superiority" as we are sure to emphasize on T.V. But unless you've really fucked up on the ground and you have to pull a Mel Gibson in We Were Soldiers and call for help, you didn't need us.
The Air Force even gets the short end of the stick in entertainment industry. I've never heard a song dedicated to being an airmen. And all the movies and T.V. shows have been about every branch of service except the one I was in. Everyone always says "Well Tom Cruise was a pilot in Top Gun wasn't he?". Yes, he was a NAVY pilot. That's the only reason for the spike in air force recruitment after that movie came out. People were joining mistakenly thinking Tom was in the Air Force. He was not. Tom's always been a Navy man. Even when he became a JAG officer and went after Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, he didn't do is as an airmen. Nobody wants to do anything as an airmen. The only Air Force movie I've ever even seen was Good Morning, Vietnam! With Robin Williams. When I saw that for the first time I was sure someone had made a film based on what I would go through in the future. Watch that if you want a clearer understanding of what Shema was like as a servicemen. Only difference between me and Robin's character is that I was skinnier, younger and had a better sense of humor.
I couldn't even generate support for the Air Force here on SG. When I first joined this site, I submitted a request to create an Air Force group so I and my fellow air people could meet and share our stories of exclusion and disrespect. I was vehemently denied. They told something along the lines of we already had site for the Air Force here. No the fuck you didn't. No the fuck you still don't. Not a separate service specific group like the Army and Marines groups. The combined SG Military group does not count. They don't even talk about the Air Force in that one. So what group were you talking about? The Pen Pals. That began my frustrations with this site, lol.
But it just made me see all the more clearly how short changed the Air Force is in the coolness department. And were all about technology now. So we've completely and officially become the nerds of the military. And being a nerd has only recently become cool (thanks Bob!
). So maybe if I did jump over to the tent-living side of the service I can walk into a nightclub and be treated like a hero as opposed to being mistaken for an usher (Yes, that actually happened one time. Fucking marines...).
And its not that I don't want to be apart of the nerdy side of things. I totally do. I just would like to be able to conceal that nerdiness under the disguise of a bad ass. Because that's how I roll. And looking at some of the jobs the Army offers on its website, I can totally accomplish that task. That's if I make it out of the technical school this time.
I don't know why I had such a hard time going through my first tech school. I studied and participated in class. And I thought for sure that I was computer literate enough to make it through the course. But I had to realize that taking one Mavis-Beacon Teaches Typing class my senior year in high school does not a tech savvy person make (thanks public school!). Maybe I don't test well. Or maybe and probably the most likely of scenarios, is that I'm a fucking moron. And if I do join the Army I should just take being a chalk board eraser as my job and be done with it.
I don't know. I'm just tired of bumming around from job to pointless job hoping that if I can manage to stick around long enough, they might make me an assistant manager. And then I can finally afford to pay for the things like a car and an apartment that most people have had since they were fucking 14. I also have new nieces and nephews coming up behind me. And I don't want another generation of family members to see me living on my grandmothers couch watching The Price is Right and no money to even buy them a friggin egg mcmuffin for their birthdays.
People say its not about what you buy for someone but the love you give them that really counts. And I say that's horseshit. My dad was an abusive, alcoholic cradle-robbing asshole. But if he had gotten me a car when I came of age I would have at least gone to see him in the hospital before he died. I didn't get anything. So neither did he. And I suppose these same people would say that me passing out hugs and kisses on my nieces birthdays is enough and that I didn't need to buy them any gifts. But these same people don't have to sit across the table and look in my nieces upset/disgusted faces when they realize that Uncle Shema couldn't even get em a birthday card because hes been wearing the same fucking pair of blue jeans for the last 4 years. So shut the hell up. It totally matters what you have in this life. "Well you can't take any of that money with you when you die." No, but I can give whatever I've amassed in this life to people who need it so they wont have to endure the cesspool of poverty and exclusion that I had to go through, you dickhole. Sorry...that was for any religious person who happens to read this blog...
So what do you guys (and by guys I mean the 3-4 people who actually read my blogs, lol) think I should do? I told my uncle that I would at least go talk to an army recruiter just to see what he had to say. So I'll if only to keep my word. But I don't know. Time is ticking and my options are decreasing. I just want to be able to look back on my life and be able to brag my ass off about what I've accomplished like my uncle and not have it be me just talking shit that I know can't be verified by anyone else. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Unless it's something I don't agree with. Then it'll just get deleted, lol. Pssh. I'm such a dick sometimes...
P.S. I'm gonna label this blog under the category of naked pictures as a tactic to get more people to read it and respond. Learned that trick in the military, lol. Be easy!
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
dali:
Thanks Shema!
kewpie:
I'm sorry Shema! Lol! I'm going to try to be on a lot more often