I am determined to have a child.
I have somewhat of an obsession with watching Documentaries on Birth\Pregnancy.. I am wholeheartedly pro-home birth because of its obvious benefits. I have a lot of pregnant friends, or friends who have children and surprisingly a lot of them don't research home birth, or at least it doesn't seem that they do. I guess I am just partial to home birth because hospitals freak me out in general and they always just seem to want to go for your pocket book over your well-being. I'm not necessarily supposed to have kids, I have PCOS. Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome; the 1# infertility cause in the United States (or so I have read.) So maybe my intense curiosity is caused by envy? Or a determination to have a child?
I feel like I have researched more about pregnancy and birth than some pregnant women I know, not all but some.. You'd think that the second you find out your pregnant or even think you are you'd be hopping on Google and researching everything you can, and then reading books, asking doctors (gag), midwives, doulas, etc! But no, the norm is to go immediately to your doctor and let them tell you what you need to do next.. As if they are the ones giving birth, as if they are the ones carrying this child.. Woman's bodies are built to be pregnant, you don't need a doctor! There are emergency situations, of course but overall why even go to a doctor if there isn't a problem? I don't get it. Women I think have been brainwashed into thinking that if you don't have a hospital birth you'll die, or you're baby will die or that the pain is so horrendous that you can't over come it.. Not like women have been giving birth since.. forever!
Ugh. It just irks me because I sit idly by watching a lot of women be lead by this money-mongering system and I am not supposed to have a child? Bullshit. I honestly believe I'd be a wonderful mother, somewhere inside me I believe THAT is what I am supposed to be.. As if there is something inside of me that won't be complete until I have a child, to care for it and give it all of my love. It also enrages me when I see mothers who don't want their children, or they just carelessly get pregnant when I may have to resort to medical intervention just to TRY to have a child.. Life isn't fair, and I've accepted that but god damn it I deserve a child if all these irresponsible women are having them!
I'd give anything.
I have somewhat of an obsession with watching Documentaries on Birth\Pregnancy.. I am wholeheartedly pro-home birth because of its obvious benefits. I have a lot of pregnant friends, or friends who have children and surprisingly a lot of them don't research home birth, or at least it doesn't seem that they do. I guess I am just partial to home birth because hospitals freak me out in general and they always just seem to want to go for your pocket book over your well-being. I'm not necessarily supposed to have kids, I have PCOS. Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome; the 1# infertility cause in the United States (or so I have read.) So maybe my intense curiosity is caused by envy? Or a determination to have a child?
I feel like I have researched more about pregnancy and birth than some pregnant women I know, not all but some.. You'd think that the second you find out your pregnant or even think you are you'd be hopping on Google and researching everything you can, and then reading books, asking doctors (gag), midwives, doulas, etc! But no, the norm is to go immediately to your doctor and let them tell you what you need to do next.. As if they are the ones giving birth, as if they are the ones carrying this child.. Woman's bodies are built to be pregnant, you don't need a doctor! There are emergency situations, of course but overall why even go to a doctor if there isn't a problem? I don't get it. Women I think have been brainwashed into thinking that if you don't have a hospital birth you'll die, or you're baby will die or that the pain is so horrendous that you can't over come it.. Not like women have been giving birth since.. forever!
Ugh. It just irks me because I sit idly by watching a lot of women be lead by this money-mongering system and I am not supposed to have a child? Bullshit. I honestly believe I'd be a wonderful mother, somewhere inside me I believe THAT is what I am supposed to be.. As if there is something inside of me that won't be complete until I have a child, to care for it and give it all of my love. It also enrages me when I see mothers who don't want their children, or they just carelessly get pregnant when I may have to resort to medical intervention just to TRY to have a child.. Life isn't fair, and I've accepted that but god damn it I deserve a child if all these irresponsible women are having them!
I'd give anything.
entese:
i know exactly what do you mean about that you deserve a child! i hope everything just works out as you want