even though it's temporary, and it's a "break" it still feels like a break up.
it hurts. and i hate it.
what if it does end up in a break up. what if he realizes he doesn't want to be with me after all.
i keep thinking about all of the negative things that could come out of it, but i know i should focus on the positive things that could come from it.
i need to focus on me. but it's just so fucking hard to do. i know it's still early, and the hurt will be there. that only time will heal.
but fuck. just fuck.
it hurts. and i hate it.
what if it does end up in a break up. what if he realizes he doesn't want to be with me after all.
i keep thinking about all of the negative things that could come out of it, but i know i should focus on the positive things that could come from it.
i need to focus on me. but it's just so fucking hard to do. i know it's still early, and the hurt will be there. that only time will heal.
but fuck. just fuck.
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that means something.
the relationship is real. which means it definately has a chance. if it's what you really want, give him his space for a little bit. but fight for him when the time has come to do so
we've been officially together for 3 years. but we dated for a year before that.
it's the lack of trying that upsets me the most.
I've told him how i felt, and that i know i can't hold on much longer if things don't change, and that we would crumble when i moved if things didn't change. and he promises a lot. and never comes through.
if it didn't feel like he was lying everytime we talked about it, i might feel better.
but i know he's a good guy, and that no one's going to love me like he does....
*sigh*
it's hard all over ain't it?