shawndaddy

I had the strangest feeling yesterday. It was the feeling that I am losing my sense of self.
I have spent so many years being unhappy, both with myself and my place in this world, that I let the unhappiness define who I was.

I had lost all self confidence. I put the needs of everyone else before my own. I was a human doormat.. and plenty of people took advantage of it.

Now, all of the sudden, I find myself happy. Not just content, but truly happy. I laugh EVERY day. I feel grateful EVERY day. I found my self-confidence and self-respect. I cut out the people in my life that weren't good for me. I found out who my real friends are and I found love.

Don't get me wrong. Life isn't perfect. I still manage to have the worst luck possible most of the time. If something can go wrong, it very well might.
I think the difference is that I no longer let anything good go unappreciated. I literally take the time to enjoy every sunrise and every sunset. By making a point to enjoy the simple things the smell of a neighbor using their fireplace, the way the clouds lookI've found that I no longer crave the material bullshit that was weighing me down.
I don't care if I have the latest gadget or the fastest car. I don't care about gossip or useless drama. Life is short and I'm doing my best to enjoy every minute of it. I may have bills to worry about or a bad day at work and that's ok. As long as I continue to appreciate the little things, the worries of life can't get me down. At least not for long.

I know that I'm the one responsible for my happiness and my destiny. I also know that the journey would have been much longer if not for the love of this amazing woman.