If you don't want to read whining about my profession- -leave now. At this point in my day I don't give a fuck- I'm exhausted and need to push out the ugly thoughts, so that I can remain sane for the rest of the week.
Today was my fifth day in the classroom, and already I am very stressed. Not only have the kid's main teacher changed as of Monday (WITHOUT telling me or the other para--), but one of the other para's was taken out of the classroom to help with another (as of Monday as well... and THAT story is far too long and filled with fucking DRAMA about THAT para and one of the kids in my class---Can we say HRS?...) So, you now have one new para (that would be me) and a new teacher (that is "certified"--like I care about that... but at least she has "experience"..) in the classroom with 11 autistic children.
However, here's the fun part.... wait for it...: one of us has to EVENTUALLY take a break, so we are left with ONE to watch the entire 11 kids when the other classrooms have three to four para's in the class and all the other classrooms have LESS kids! I was left alone with them in lunch and while they were out playing on the field today and yesterday(which is ok in the begining, but utter HELL when I'm trying to round them up on my ow-they fuss and literally SCREAM their lungs out becasue they are changing areas and they HATE change) , while the other teacher got a 45 minute break away from the kids when I hadn't even taken my lunch. I am "supposed" to take my lunch after her and have to wait for her lazy, lazy ass to come waddling back. Ok.... so she's really a nice teacher, but I'm feeling like I'm doing all the work by herding the kids, and managing their behavior because she just doesn't seem to be aware of it. Which makes me wonder about her experience... That, and the fact that I get paid LESS than she does just because she has a certification (of bullshiiittt) and I don't... and it just leaves me feeling tired, and very angry.
The staff coordinator for the autism wing had come in periodically to check in and do some work. Towards the end of the day, (which today being early release day was around 1 pm) I got a chance to speak with her and told her that I hadn't gotten my break yet (and she knows I do extended day). She was shocked and said that I go right away, but she seemed really sypmathetic when I told her I just hadn't had the time.... while the main teacher who fucking KNEW I hadn't had my lunch break acted surprised as fucking hell. I feel extreme resentment toward her because I feel like I'm picking up her slack and she gets all the credit for it. But, I'm not going to stop doing my job, tomorrow I will demand a break before hers.... (petty I know.. but she seems so utterly clueless. Yesterday was the same thing, her... taking a huge ass break knowing I am all alone--- I wouldn't mind or care at all if I had a fucking helper) but there you have it folks ... thats a couple of reasons right there why the educational system is so fucked up and the teachers leave. Not enough help, and having varying degrees of pay for the same things, the greater if you have a fucking piece of paper saying your "certified" (in bullshit). Fucking whores.
Don't get me wrong about the kids though, they are still awesome. Not sooo awesome when they start pitching a fit.... but once that is through and they know what to do.... they are really quite sweet. The kid that was in love with Harry Potter, is probably one of my favorite kids because he has one hell of an imagination. I can tell when he's watched something like Spiderman before he comes to school because he will talk about how is "Protecting all of us from the Shocker (which is an evil villan) with his Spidey senses and webbing." Haha!
There are others that delight me with their sweetness and manners, but they are also sometimes the ones that stress me out when they are pitching a fit because they want a THIRD breakfast and I had told them "no" while some of the other passing para's and teachers come and look on with scorn, never stepping in to help. Or the ones that freak out when we are changing from one area to the next, or from one activity to the next.
The afterschool program may be what keeps me sane throughout the year. Those "regular" kids actually listen the first time (SO REFRESHING) and recognize me in the hallways and call out "Hi, Mizz Sa-waaah!!!" as I walk past. Adorable! It always makes me smile.
I once had a plan a couple of years back to become a regular Kindergarten teacher, but through unnamed happenings, changed my mind. Looking at the afterschool program and the little ones in Kindergarten and 1st grade, its made me remember my old plans. Maybe, just maybe... I finally know what I want to do for a few years of my life.
Today was my fifth day in the classroom, and already I am very stressed. Not only have the kid's main teacher changed as of Monday (WITHOUT telling me or the other para--), but one of the other para's was taken out of the classroom to help with another (as of Monday as well... and THAT story is far too long and filled with fucking DRAMA about THAT para and one of the kids in my class---Can we say HRS?...) So, you now have one new para (that would be me) and a new teacher (that is "certified"--like I care about that... but at least she has "experience"..) in the classroom with 11 autistic children.
However, here's the fun part.... wait for it...: one of us has to EVENTUALLY take a break, so we are left with ONE to watch the entire 11 kids when the other classrooms have three to four para's in the class and all the other classrooms have LESS kids! I was left alone with them in lunch and while they were out playing on the field today and yesterday(which is ok in the begining, but utter HELL when I'm trying to round them up on my ow-they fuss and literally SCREAM their lungs out becasue they are changing areas and they HATE change) , while the other teacher got a 45 minute break away from the kids when I hadn't even taken my lunch. I am "supposed" to take my lunch after her and have to wait for her lazy, lazy ass to come waddling back. Ok.... so she's really a nice teacher, but I'm feeling like I'm doing all the work by herding the kids, and managing their behavior because she just doesn't seem to be aware of it. Which makes me wonder about her experience... That, and the fact that I get paid LESS than she does just because she has a certification (of bullshiiittt) and I don't... and it just leaves me feeling tired, and very angry.
The staff coordinator for the autism wing had come in periodically to check in and do some work. Towards the end of the day, (which today being early release day was around 1 pm) I got a chance to speak with her and told her that I hadn't gotten my break yet (and she knows I do extended day). She was shocked and said that I go right away, but she seemed really sypmathetic when I told her I just hadn't had the time.... while the main teacher who fucking KNEW I hadn't had my lunch break acted surprised as fucking hell. I feel extreme resentment toward her because I feel like I'm picking up her slack and she gets all the credit for it. But, I'm not going to stop doing my job, tomorrow I will demand a break before hers.... (petty I know.. but she seems so utterly clueless. Yesterday was the same thing, her... taking a huge ass break knowing I am all alone--- I wouldn't mind or care at all if I had a fucking helper) but there you have it folks ... thats a couple of reasons right there why the educational system is so fucked up and the teachers leave. Not enough help, and having varying degrees of pay for the same things, the greater if you have a fucking piece of paper saying your "certified" (in bullshit). Fucking whores.
Don't get me wrong about the kids though, they are still awesome. Not sooo awesome when they start pitching a fit.... but once that is through and they know what to do.... they are really quite sweet. The kid that was in love with Harry Potter, is probably one of my favorite kids because he has one hell of an imagination. I can tell when he's watched something like Spiderman before he comes to school because he will talk about how is "Protecting all of us from the Shocker (which is an evil villan) with his Spidey senses and webbing." Haha!
There are others that delight me with their sweetness and manners, but they are also sometimes the ones that stress me out when they are pitching a fit because they want a THIRD breakfast and I had told them "no" while some of the other passing para's and teachers come and look on with scorn, never stepping in to help. Or the ones that freak out when we are changing from one area to the next, or from one activity to the next.
The afterschool program may be what keeps me sane throughout the year. Those "regular" kids actually listen the first time (SO REFRESHING) and recognize me in the hallways and call out "Hi, Mizz Sa-waaah!!!" as I walk past. Adorable! It always makes me smile.
I once had a plan a couple of years back to become a regular Kindergarten teacher, but through unnamed happenings, changed my mind. Looking at the afterschool program and the little ones in Kindergarten and 1st grade, its made me remember my old plans. Maybe, just maybe... I finally know what I want to do for a few years of my life.
jenbat:
wowsers. im sorry thr schools here are so shitty ( part of the reason i refuse to have kids here) but i know that teachers like yourself can make all the difference in the world to a child. i admire both you and kat for having the courage to do what you do. makes me even more proud than i was to count you amongst friends. in short my dear, you rock! i hope things get better! oh ps looks like they cancelled the coco beach sg show 