Life is so unexpected. I have been thinking about moving to vancouver for the last couple months. Been visiting monthly as well, seeing how i like it. Decided to put myself out there for it to happen. And i have this chance to sublet this apartment where my friend lives. Just for a month or so. But still cheap, and gives me a month to...
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Told the girl i've liked for a year that i miss her once again. Even after i promised i would avoid her... specially her and serious anything. She confuses me. Hot and cold. Constant hot and cold.
Decided to listen to the tea party more. It's been too long.
Decided to listen to the tea party more. It's been too long.
shamelessly:
Favorite SG pics
So even though i was still mildly under the weather. I ventured out to the fire circle. Where i listened to many people play some drums. And a couple people spun some fire. Met, and talked with people. Was nice. Spent the walk home thinking about how nice it is to have a mild friday night. I like the simplicity in life...
boo to being sick!!!
bratgrrrl:
Feel better soon!
Feel better soon!My all mighty roommate, has been without alcohol for... a month. And its been boringly pleasant. No stress, no drama, no anger out bursts. None of the usual drunken issues i would have with her. Minus the depression she went into.. things were rather calm.
Then today, she showed up hammered. Cursing the person who brought her home for telling me that she was.. Like...
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Then today, she showed up hammered. Cursing the person who brought her home for telling me that she was.. Like...
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malloreigh:
kamloops, huh...
I fear ...
moving
change
the good life
struggling
temptation
people i am attracted too
people who are good to me
i also fear
the truth,
and the lies
the facts
and my own fantasies
i fear being beautiful to myself
and too others
i fear talking
sharing
attachments
exposing myself to anyone
letting go
just being
walking away
walking towards...
i fear almost everything.....
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moving
change
the good life
struggling
temptation
people i am attracted too
people who are good to me
i also fear
the truth,
and the lies
the facts
and my own fantasies
i fear being beautiful to myself
and too others
i fear talking
sharing
attachments
exposing myself to anyone
letting go
just being
walking away
walking towards...
i fear almost everything.....
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suffer not for nothing,
tomorrow may come,
or it might lose its way.
feel only shame,
for the shame itself,
since nothing is uncalled for.
tomorrow may come,
or it might lose its way.
feel only shame,
for the shame itself,
since nothing is uncalled for.
everyone in my life, seems to need me to vent, needs me for support, needs me for a sounding board, needs me for sex, needs me to be something for them...
and then i stand here. All fucking alone. And its like where are these people that i have given every piece of me too to help them stay strong, stay proud, stay alive..?
everywhere...
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and then i stand here. All fucking alone. And its like where are these people that i have given every piece of me too to help them stay strong, stay proud, stay alive..?
everywhere...
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sweetbutch:
maybe you are depressed
and maybe you have good reason
maybe she did you wrong, used you for sex, and only loved you for a little while,
with that small pond of love that she has
not a match to an urgent ocean swelling
with love and passion and thoughts and sex
and maybe, just maybe
as young
and as beautiful as you are
maybe, the world is your oyster
and you are the pearl, as well
and you are going to be ecstatically happy sometimes
even though the world is suffering
and life is tough
but people laugh a lot just the same
laugh even though it's fucked up
or because it is fucked up
or because we are human
and laughing is what we do
we humans
your are gorgeous
and the wicked unkind world will be kind to you
oddly enough
maybe you are depressed
and maybe you have good reason
maybe she did you wrong, used you for sex, and only loved you for a little while,
with that small pond of love that she has
not a match to an urgent ocean swelling
with love and passion and thoughts and sex
and maybe, just maybe
as young
and as beautiful as you are
maybe, the world is your oyster
and you are the pearl, as well
and you are going to be ecstatically happy sometimes
even though the world is suffering
and life is tough
but people laugh a lot just the same
laugh even though it's fucked up
or because it is fucked up
or because we are human
and laughing is what we do
we humans
your are gorgeous
and the wicked unkind world will be kind to you
oddly enough
I feel suffocated and trapped.
I feel like i'm burning up from the inside.
I feel like i am going to explode into a million pieces.
I feel like i am losing control.
My anger is rising, and i feel like if i dont watch my step it will make me do something stupid.
I am always stressed out.
I almost wish i could ask...
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I feel like i'm burning up from the inside.
I feel like i am going to explode into a million pieces.
I feel like i am losing control.
My anger is rising, and i feel like if i dont watch my step it will make me do something stupid.
I am always stressed out.
I almost wish i could ask...
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roommate is still an alcoholic.
And its once again become a problem
How exciting
And its once again become a problem
How exciting
Feeling something surface again.
Not a fan.
I love myself, and most major pieces of my identity.
But this.. my self destructive other half.
The one that crumbles all that is well.
Is coming up front ..
I am trying to push away the need to cause myself more damage.
Fact is i will totally win. But i hate the lingering emotion of discomfort, and...
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Not a fan.
I love myself, and most major pieces of my identity.
But this.. my self destructive other half.
The one that crumbles all that is well.
Is coming up front ..
I am trying to push away the need to cause myself more damage.
Fact is i will totally win. But i hate the lingering emotion of discomfort, and...
Read More