so im looking through the list of categorys, and not coming across the one i think would be more appropriate for this post, relationships, i figure love is the closest for it so ill roll with that. So to give you a lil background information, i am engaged and have been dating a girl for more then 3 years now, she lives in southern washington and i live in bc, so we have quite the distance between us, and trust me its been frustrating at times not being able to see her, and it has also been sexually frustrating because of the distance i only tend to go down to see her every couple of weeks, and in some cases even longer. I had been kicking around the idea of an open relationship for a while but i had always been afraid to even discuss it with her because i wasnt sure what she would think. So this past weekend i went camping at an SCA event in Lebanon, OR which we had an absolute blast at, its only my 3rd event but i cant remember having as much fun camping ever as i did this time, we drank a bit on friday eve and that seems to be when a majority of the partying happened was that evening, we thought we'd save a lot of our drinking and heavy partying till saturday night. saturday rolled around and we spend most of it at our encampment just talking enjoying a few laughs with friends, and some that we were hanging out with kept chanting boobs everytime a girl walked by us, which was the funniest thing because they were chanting it in the style of the finding nemo seaguls, so instead of saying mine mine mine, it was boobs boobs boobs boobs, and to our surprised worked quite well by saturday evening we were sure we had seen 75% of the entire campsites boobs. So saturday night rolls around and me and my girl go and get changed into our garb (which both of us were wearing japanese style garb, hakama and kimono, and as it got darker and the evening progressed my girl decided she was overly warm, so she took off her kimono (not wearing a bra) so she was completely topless at this point, which doesnt bother me what so ever, id love it if she went around topless more often
eventually she wanted to wear her corset, which has the boobs area completely cut out (designed to go over one of her kimonos) but it left her breasts exposed but if she did want to cover up to go wander she could just throw on a kimono before hand. So after a while we decided to go wandering the encampment to see what was happening, ran into a couple people and started chit chatting and they mentioned they were going to go smoke hookah, which i had never done before and its the ONLY type of smoking my girl will EVER do, so we followed them there where she ran into an old friend she had not seen in a long time. We talked for a bit, smoked some hookah and my girl re-exposed herself to show off her nipple rings, eventually her friend asked me if it was ok if he could kiss her, i gestured to the fact that he could go ahead, he started kissing her and making out a little bit, which again did NOT bother me in any way shape or form. we stayed and talked and had a couple more drinks, and then followed him and his friend back to their tent where they bid us a good night, so we began walking back to our tent which wasnt far away at all.
My girl said lets sit down and have a talk, she was suprised i was so open to letting him kiss her and the fact i did not get jealous at all, at that point we basically kind of talked a bit about possibly having sex with others. we climbed into our tent and started going at, still discussing about having sex with others, she has kind of mentioned before about wanting to see me inside another girl. At that point we tried to come up with a plan to "bed warm" with others but we would need condoms cause normally we dont use them at all so we never feel the need to have them on us. We got out of our tent to start looking around at who might be left and ran into a couple of the guys in our encampment and talked to them for a bit, one of them went to bed and my girl talked to the other guy for a while, i was going to let them hook up but they never really discussed it i suppose my being there didnt help, we eventually all went to bed. slowly over the last couple of days we started talking about having sex with others and possibly opening up the relationship so we could have sex with others including coming up with a couple of rules, but nothing too major and havnt really made anything official, but by the end of the weekend found each other in a VERY high sex drive.
On my way home i started thinking of her getting nailed by someone else and it kind of was a turn on, i told her this and we really began discussing the open relationship. she asked how long i had been thinking about it and i basically said on and off for a while, turns out she has been thinking about it for a while as well but was too afraid of what i would think to bring it up (we really do think alike) we began discussing what our relationship would become. Essentially our relationship together is primary, we are engaged and she comes first, however i would be allowed to essentially start dating other girls as long as they were aware of our status and the fact that i was in a "Poly" relationship, and if i dated her more then 2 - 3 times she would want to meet this girl and do her best to get along with whoever i did decide to date, she would also be free to date other guys and basically same rules apply. we discussed a couple other things, basically nothing overly major, just a few ground rules, such as i wouldnt skip going to see her to see other girls, which i completely agreed with as well. We are deciding that while we love each other, the distance makes it VERY hard, so this way we get to stay together but get to see others as well and get love and comfort near by when it is needed.
Its kind of funny how you think your partner will react to a situation till you sit down and discuss it together, sometimes thats all it takes to realize you both are thinking the same thing! Don't EVER be afraid to discuss anything with your partner, you might just be pleasantly surprised with what you find out
eventually she wanted to wear her corset, which has the boobs area completely cut out (designed to go over one of her kimonos) but it left her breasts exposed but if she did want to cover up to go wander she could just throw on a kimono before hand. So after a while we decided to go wandering the encampment to see what was happening, ran into a couple people and started chit chatting and they mentioned they were going to go smoke hookah, which i had never done before and its the ONLY type of smoking my girl will EVER do, so we followed them there where she ran into an old friend she had not seen in a long time. We talked for a bit, smoked some hookah and my girl re-exposed herself to show off her nipple rings, eventually her friend asked me if it was ok if he could kiss her, i gestured to the fact that he could go ahead, he started kissing her and making out a little bit, which again did NOT bother me in any way shape or form. we stayed and talked and had a couple more drinks, and then followed him and his friend back to their tent where they bid us a good night, so we began walking back to our tent which wasnt far away at all.
My girl said lets sit down and have a talk, she was suprised i was so open to letting him kiss her and the fact i did not get jealous at all, at that point we basically kind of talked a bit about possibly having sex with others. we climbed into our tent and started going at, still discussing about having sex with others, she has kind of mentioned before about wanting to see me inside another girl. At that point we tried to come up with a plan to "bed warm" with others but we would need condoms cause normally we dont use them at all so we never feel the need to have them on us. We got out of our tent to start looking around at who might be left and ran into a couple of the guys in our encampment and talked to them for a bit, one of them went to bed and my girl talked to the other guy for a while, i was going to let them hook up but they never really discussed it i suppose my being there didnt help, we eventually all went to bed. slowly over the last couple of days we started talking about having sex with others and possibly opening up the relationship so we could have sex with others including coming up with a couple of rules, but nothing too major and havnt really made anything official, but by the end of the weekend found each other in a VERY high sex drive.
On my way home i started thinking of her getting nailed by someone else and it kind of was a turn on, i told her this and we really began discussing the open relationship. she asked how long i had been thinking about it and i basically said on and off for a while, turns out she has been thinking about it for a while as well but was too afraid of what i would think to bring it up (we really do think alike) we began discussing what our relationship would become. Essentially our relationship together is primary, we are engaged and she comes first, however i would be allowed to essentially start dating other girls as long as they were aware of our status and the fact that i was in a "Poly" relationship, and if i dated her more then 2 - 3 times she would want to meet this girl and do her best to get along with whoever i did decide to date, she would also be free to date other guys and basically same rules apply. we discussed a couple other things, basically nothing overly major, just a few ground rules, such as i wouldnt skip going to see her to see other girls, which i completely agreed with as well. We are deciding that while we love each other, the distance makes it VERY hard, so this way we get to stay together but get to see others as well and get love and comfort near by when it is needed.
Its kind of funny how you think your partner will react to a situation till you sit down and discuss it together, sometimes thats all it takes to realize you both are thinking the same thing! Don't EVER be afraid to discuss anything with your partner, you might just be pleasantly surprised with what you find out