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Line.

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my own pretentiousness astounds me. I can simulate art and passion, but can I ever achieve them? Would I know the feeling if I did, or would I live continuously wondering if I had? I'm not sure. I have created artwork, but i'm not sure if I've ever created art.

I feel like the little portion of dietiness inside...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
joyrider:
i suggest you attempt to have a peaceful and happy new year, meester shachia.
swingkitten:
Not that I'm going to attempt to say anything profound, but....

Girls always wonder about orgasms in the same fashion:
"Can I ever achieve orgasm?"
"Would I know the feeling if I did?"

Is there some type of connection there?

:-P
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Old poetry I dug out from high school. How I've changed. I'm more critical of myself. More quiet (if that's possible), more loud (if that's possible). I laugh more, but make jokes less. I'm happier, but I'm surrounded by more regrets, and more sadness. I'm quite content I think. Calm at the skin, but somewhere underneath it all, I'm full of love, joy, pain, sadness....
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joyrider:
romantics, the real ones, are hard-to-find these days. i am glad you are here, shachia.
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From a friend's livejournal...

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Its always been this way tho, I've always been doomed to the friendzone and/or fuck-friend zone. None of my friends in high school ever looked at me in that way. And it always hurt. Like why the hell am I so different from other girls?! I'm good enough to fuck but not good enough to date or be talked about?...
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Loneliness blows.

Thanksgiving is the most evil holiday ever, after Valentine's Day, and well, Christmas. so it's at least the 3rd most evil holiday.

4 days alone in the house with no work. At least the crushing misery of spending my life working nulls out the more crushing depression of loneliness. hell, I don't mind being alone. I just wish there was someone there to...
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catatonia:
Ewww. Christmas. It's so depressing. Everyone gets all excited and there's all this momentum and you know you're just going to get nightgowns from your grandmothers anyway. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, it's anticlimactic and sad and I'd prefer that we just sort of slipped quietly past it.

Then again, it's nice to get time off. God knows I need this break.
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To the one who knows who she is....

I've never wanted you to change, I just want to believe I'll see your smile again some day.

joyrider:
i haven't read "another roadside attraction," but it is on the list.
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I thought about editing this out again... but I suppose I'll leave it for now.

How much I hate myself.

I feel so much desire for you. But you'll have none of it. You let me in, let me feel for a moment, a month, mabe two the comforts of feeling the presence of someone else. But I was your comfort, never the other way...
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joyrider:
i used to think it was much harder to follow the tao and have the heart of a romantic. i am not so sure that this is true now. romantics feel deeply and are filled with a sense of wonder at all things - maybe that is not so different than enlightenment. smile
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Shake this conviction. Burn the thoughts straight out of my mind.

I am ruin. The towers of the parthenon lie within me. Dust and ending. These things form my essence, my being, my nature. What is there inside me now, but endings and death.

Kiss me and take my world away. I no longer desire these things, these worldly coverings of chairs and tables. Burn...
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Dancing with dreams. I skirt the outer circles. Coyotes spit tounges of flame and speak in dialects only remembered by the wind. Leaves of blue and white and silver blow around me. their glass sides reflecting in the light of the coyotes' fierce speaches.

Never losing anything. We are the unbegun center. The point. The beginning. The line is a billion years of evolution. The...
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Sometimes I'm not sure what to say.

Bubbling emotions in me. i'm a bottle of tonic, shaken up by you. Take everything in
me, turn everything away. Can you guess what I'm feeling? Do I even know? Damned if
I do.

You say there's no passion between us? Since when was that a bad thing? You've set me
to being friends. My confusion knows no...
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I've had the most amazing time in the last month or so.

Slept next to a beautiful woman so many of these nights and woken up different every morning. Some days i lie in bed watching her sleep for hours. Some days I get woken up after 4 hours sleep to her talking about monkeys, bananas, and masking tape... every time I the drowsiness fades...
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Comings and goings are far too common. There is always too little staying. Too little being.

An eggshell wraps around me, protecting me while I curl up in the fetal position. The rest of the world burns away and at last I am born like the phoenix ascendant.

All I want is for someone to tell me everything is ok for a little while. To...
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I want to taste from action and non-ado simultaneously. I want to bathe in living, breathing, pulsing flesh. And I want to play the part of the monk. If I journey the path of flesh for a while, do I cease to be a monk? Can I be holy, devout and pure, and lose myself in a figmentary reality, emotions, feeling and desires.

Where is...
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