Well here it is. Overall it was another awesome party to go down in the books. Some good stuff, some bad but most of the bad was done to me, to my self. Ill start from the beginning but Im leaving large chunks out and going to stick to the highlights. Well I arrived on site around 1820 after battling TO traffic. Couldnt find anyone I knew after walking up and down the dirt road where it all transpired. I experienced so many emotions this past weekend and all of them to the extreme. Love, Friendship, Happiness, Sadness, Sketchiness, Hate, Delusion, Extreme Highness, Infatuation, Well after 2130 that first night no soberness.
The Crews I attached myself too:
First I met Jason, he didnt even recognize me until I challenged him, but he immediately took me in as part of his crew which is really what I needed. So I moved my stuff down to their site.
Next I met Jackie, Awwww so tiny and sweet. Her and Ummm whats his name again ( Josh) But Ill go more into detail of our events together later.
Then I finally tracked down Timmy and the Rochester site. I did get to spend a small amount of time with him but we were both very busy, whish we had more time. I met mostly lots of awesome people, few but some not so awesome.
The Drugs: (Copious Amounts)
Well once again I had my yearly binge. Not sure if Ill disclose everything to everyone but I did try one drug that I never had before that is a common one but I always steered away from and I know why now, I should always go with my intuitions, and self rules Ive made myself. I started the first night with some really good and strong acid with one of those that shall remain nameless. Good times but didnt dance barely at all. Most of the trip was spent walking up and down the road meeting new people and getting a feel for the various stages set up. Their was a period of mass confusion but it wasnt too bad, I just went and hid out in my tent for an hour or two and felt ready for some more social interaction. Then I moved on to the primary drug of the weekend, some E. Did I have fun with it? Yes. Did I overdue it? Not until we left on Sunday. I would have felt a lot better about it had someone been on it with me. I mean I had awesome company and they were understanding because they knew I was on it but they werent. I mean JA and JO and others that I met, I felt an almost instant friendship with. I felt totally comfortable with them and had no reserves but later I realized that they all just met me and I should have let them get to know me as me before the E-tard I became.
Then about the fourth day of absolutely no sleep I started to become very sketchy and it only progressed until I departed yesterday. I dont want to think that I made them uncomfortable or worse towards me, but I could not read anyone at that point, so I was only left with my own thoughts to ponder on of how I was behaving. I know Ive apologized too much already but if I did cause any misgivings Im sorry. You were all great to me and the fact is, is I should have stopped the party when the party stopped; It would have been a much better situation. JA youre boyfriend is a great guy. I like him, and its too bad that Im not there because hes defiantly someone I could hang out with. At no fault of yours and with the time allotted to us I do regret that just you and I didnt get to hang out more. I mean you are the primary person in that crew I know, and meeting everyone else was good, but I just feel we missed out on a lot of conversation, mostly because that really wasnt a part of myself I should have let you see as you did. I was in a world I myself seldom see, and with not sleeping even the conversations we did have they werent the Jay that you already know. That is one of my only regrets, is that I showed you a part of myself that I rarely see and a part of me that causes problems in my life if I let it get out of control. On the flipside of what I perceived, Saturday night was the best night, despite the negative vibe. Im glad we all chose to stay together. I got to dance at almost ever site, and I some chill time with you.
The Music:
Ugg Im getting sick of typing so Im going to summarize the rest and wrap it up because Im hungry too. There was a perfect combination of my likes. I mostly stuck to the hardcore stage that few people except those that are hardcore were drawn too. HeHe, j/k actually I didnt get a good feel from the other people there. I think they mostly all knew eachother and it seemed like I was frowned upon staying in their space as much as I did, but I hope Im wrong because that was Teknival and if they were thinking that maybe they should have left. But on their behalf I might of just been tripping. Sat night I had that vibe every stage I went too. It wasnt just me though because there were many people I talked to that shared that feeling.
Ok to wrap it up:
(The Good)
My friends and new friends I made.
The Music
The Community
The drugs
The lack of too many complications, it could always have been worse.
Meeting Jackie in person
Conversation with Jason and Graham
The price
The Lasers (yea you all know which one)
The 3 hour most intellectual conversation at Timmys stage with some guy.
The fact that I had no desire to shit until I got to my hotel room
My fears of crashing hard really wasnt too bad.
My Sunday night accommodations and company
The girl Ill write a little bit more about below.
Dave having no concern in my behavior and just hanging out with me no matter how annoying I may have been. And Josh too but I think that he could also only take so much (understandably).
And the list goes on.
(The Bad)
A choice in one drug
The Friday night hour of confusion
Some etarded things I did.
My problem with names.
The sketchy Sat night Sunday morning vibe.
The lack of any sleep for 5 days straight. Oh cept that hour on Monday early morning.
The potential fight at the Acid stage and with the same guy Sunday morning.
That their werent more personal friends their.
Drivivng up alone
Self induced sketchiness
Ramblings with the sober
That loud girl across from Jackies site.
My state of mind also (self induced) on Monday.
That $50.00
Things I learned:
If you trip alone, be alone.
Never over-analyze
Be aware of why youre mad and not who youre mad at.
You need to sleep sometimes
You dont have to finish them all just because their there.
Not everyone shares or wants to share in your beliefs.
Not everyone is out to get you.
You still have a potential to self destruct
Try to think better of an unknown situation.
Sometimes people should be given the benefit of the doubt
That scene is still the best scene as long as you focus on the positive parts.
Faster is better
You cannot and will not attempt to dance to happy hardcore ever again.
Your friends no matter how often you see them are still the best friends.
The Girl:
She was part of Jasons crew. There was no attempting to flirt or click, it just happened through conversation and a goodbye hug and its a date next year. I didnt even realize this click occurred until I had to say goodbye. Im a fucking retard because I forgot her name. I should have accepted the breakfast offer and followed her actions in getting some sleep. It sucks because it may not be as much of a click if any for her, and its not a feasible situation that it will ever go anywhere else again.
Well thats about it in a nut shell, I had good times once again, made some mistakes and will learn from those mistakes so they will not become regrets. I have to phone work, had a bad morning, airline lost my luggage and Im a scrub.
The Crews I attached myself too:
First I met Jason, he didnt even recognize me until I challenged him, but he immediately took me in as part of his crew which is really what I needed. So I moved my stuff down to their site.
Next I met Jackie, Awwww so tiny and sweet. Her and Ummm whats his name again ( Josh) But Ill go more into detail of our events together later.
Then I finally tracked down Timmy and the Rochester site. I did get to spend a small amount of time with him but we were both very busy, whish we had more time. I met mostly lots of awesome people, few but some not so awesome.
The Drugs: (Copious Amounts)
Well once again I had my yearly binge. Not sure if Ill disclose everything to everyone but I did try one drug that I never had before that is a common one but I always steered away from and I know why now, I should always go with my intuitions, and self rules Ive made myself. I started the first night with some really good and strong acid with one of those that shall remain nameless. Good times but didnt dance barely at all. Most of the trip was spent walking up and down the road meeting new people and getting a feel for the various stages set up. Their was a period of mass confusion but it wasnt too bad, I just went and hid out in my tent for an hour or two and felt ready for some more social interaction. Then I moved on to the primary drug of the weekend, some E. Did I have fun with it? Yes. Did I overdue it? Not until we left on Sunday. I would have felt a lot better about it had someone been on it with me. I mean I had awesome company and they were understanding because they knew I was on it but they werent. I mean JA and JO and others that I met, I felt an almost instant friendship with. I felt totally comfortable with them and had no reserves but later I realized that they all just met me and I should have let them get to know me as me before the E-tard I became.
Then about the fourth day of absolutely no sleep I started to become very sketchy and it only progressed until I departed yesterday. I dont want to think that I made them uncomfortable or worse towards me, but I could not read anyone at that point, so I was only left with my own thoughts to ponder on of how I was behaving. I know Ive apologized too much already but if I did cause any misgivings Im sorry. You were all great to me and the fact is, is I should have stopped the party when the party stopped; It would have been a much better situation. JA youre boyfriend is a great guy. I like him, and its too bad that Im not there because hes defiantly someone I could hang out with. At no fault of yours and with the time allotted to us I do regret that just you and I didnt get to hang out more. I mean you are the primary person in that crew I know, and meeting everyone else was good, but I just feel we missed out on a lot of conversation, mostly because that really wasnt a part of myself I should have let you see as you did. I was in a world I myself seldom see, and with not sleeping even the conversations we did have they werent the Jay that you already know. That is one of my only regrets, is that I showed you a part of myself that I rarely see and a part of me that causes problems in my life if I let it get out of control. On the flipside of what I perceived, Saturday night was the best night, despite the negative vibe. Im glad we all chose to stay together. I got to dance at almost ever site, and I some chill time with you.
The Music:
Ugg Im getting sick of typing so Im going to summarize the rest and wrap it up because Im hungry too. There was a perfect combination of my likes. I mostly stuck to the hardcore stage that few people except those that are hardcore were drawn too. HeHe, j/k actually I didnt get a good feel from the other people there. I think they mostly all knew eachother and it seemed like I was frowned upon staying in their space as much as I did, but I hope Im wrong because that was Teknival and if they were thinking that maybe they should have left. But on their behalf I might of just been tripping. Sat night I had that vibe every stage I went too. It wasnt just me though because there were many people I talked to that shared that feeling.
Ok to wrap it up:
(The Good)
My friends and new friends I made.
The Music
The Community
The drugs
The lack of too many complications, it could always have been worse.
Meeting Jackie in person
Conversation with Jason and Graham
The price
The Lasers (yea you all know which one)
The 3 hour most intellectual conversation at Timmys stage with some guy.
The fact that I had no desire to shit until I got to my hotel room
My fears of crashing hard really wasnt too bad.
My Sunday night accommodations and company
The girl Ill write a little bit more about below.
Dave having no concern in my behavior and just hanging out with me no matter how annoying I may have been. And Josh too but I think that he could also only take so much (understandably).
And the list goes on.
(The Bad)
A choice in one drug
The Friday night hour of confusion
Some etarded things I did.
My problem with names.
The sketchy Sat night Sunday morning vibe.
The lack of any sleep for 5 days straight. Oh cept that hour on Monday early morning.
The potential fight at the Acid stage and with the same guy Sunday morning.
That their werent more personal friends their.
Drivivng up alone
Self induced sketchiness
Ramblings with the sober
That loud girl across from Jackies site.
My state of mind also (self induced) on Monday.
That $50.00
Things I learned:
If you trip alone, be alone.
Never over-analyze
Be aware of why youre mad and not who youre mad at.
You need to sleep sometimes
You dont have to finish them all just because their there.
Not everyone shares or wants to share in your beliefs.
Not everyone is out to get you.
You still have a potential to self destruct
Try to think better of an unknown situation.
Sometimes people should be given the benefit of the doubt
That scene is still the best scene as long as you focus on the positive parts.
Faster is better
You cannot and will not attempt to dance to happy hardcore ever again.
Your friends no matter how often you see them are still the best friends.
The Girl:
She was part of Jasons crew. There was no attempting to flirt or click, it just happened through conversation and a goodbye hug and its a date next year. I didnt even realize this click occurred until I had to say goodbye. Im a fucking retard because I forgot her name. I should have accepted the breakfast offer and followed her actions in getting some sleep. It sucks because it may not be as much of a click if any for her, and its not a feasible situation that it will ever go anywhere else again.
Well thats about it in a nut shell, I had good times once again, made some mistakes and will learn from those mistakes so they will not become regrets. I have to phone work, had a bad morning, airline lost my luggage and Im a scrub.
PLUS, we listen to the exact same music. Know how hard that is for me to find...anywhere???
It would be nice to have someone to hang out with(my ageish) who has the same interests and tastes.
I read your post and it sounds like you had a quite interesting weekend. It sounds like when I lived in TN and would hang out with my buddies in the Outlaws MC. I would be having such a good time,be so nice to people, then the booze and drugs took over my mouth. REALLY BAD...
Don't feel worried about it, we've all been there. For those who don't remember being like that ever, make sure you remind them next time...
I hope you get the job(if you applied). If you have a fax number, I can send you the contract/house rules/benefits I have and you can see first hand what you're entitled to and the other stuff. It's a sweet deal if you don't drink or "consume" you paycheck like alot of people end up doing, if ya know what I mean.
Plus if you have any questions, you can always message me or whatever.
Hope you are not a picky eater.
P.S. NO drug testing. None. Period.