sgt_shaw

sorry i'm running behind. i always am. i'm learning a new job and it's taking up my time extra much.

congrats on the new job. glad to hear you're not going away. i have to buy myself more membership very soon too...

so what's happening? are you moving away from her? you just got a job there...sorry i'm easily confused. i can't imagine you've fucked up everything so bad. it's really hard to understand what's going on but you're not a bad person. you'll get through this. big supportive hugs...take care of yourself.

Yes, my puppy rocks. HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Uggg I don't know when my SG membership runs out but I got rid of my credit card so I just got an email saying they couldn't renew my payment' I'm not sure if I'll renew it or not, I'm really not on here a lot

hey mr. shaw what happened to tryptin? i almost didn't recognize you!

glad to hear you have goals. it's important to accept help from others and help yourself...that will get you a long way to the other goals. don't give up on yourself hon that will not help anything. you'll make it. you can do it i'm sure of it. the only reason i'm ever so down on getting better is cause i've been chemically altered after 15+ years of madness. but you're not lost. there is hope i promise!

i hope that with the new year you get the new start you need to achieve these goals!

hope you have a holiday season that leaves you smiling from ear to ear!

hi. sorry i was away. i ummmmmmmmmm fell in a ptsd fucking hole. bad. like no one understands that when i say it but yeah. it was bad. bad bad bad. but now i'm on the way up (as long as my abusive ex remains out of sight and anything that reminds me of him and well...) eh. i'm trying to be optimistic. haven't been to therapy in weeks. i chose the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...oh wait that's a line from Airplane. i mean i chose the wrong time of year to switch therapists.

so canada? wow. that's awesome. i want to live in canada so badly. but i think that's cause i'm a little bit queer. i couldn't be patriotic if i tried. but i totally respect it because it's something so beyond me.

it's good to be in an optimistic space about the move. are you sure you're in a good space to go back into the thick of things though? are you talking about going back to combat or just being an analyst? cause the ptsd is a bitch whore bastard and it can catch you i hate to say. (i should know...my long descent all centered around trying to be like "okay...i can go to a club and if he's there i can stay. i'm strong enough...so an hour later i can barely walk or stand up or breathe and i'm being half carried out the door. oops. not ready. even after two doses of ativan) you need to be VERY sure and VERY centered that you have properly and adequately dealt with those things or else you're just going to be dwelling seventh layer of hell style like me.

but what do i know i'm just crazy...
i hope everything goes well for you and the move goes nicely and you get to see friends and family and get all these things squared away and started anew. it's great to have such an opportunity to start over.

big big big supportive hugs.

and yeah i'm really sorry. i'm trying my darndest to stay this side of the shame spiral and this side of the hospital doors. here's hoping

PS - Do you still have your poochi? He's cute. All pitbull like or something.

I have added you to messenger.

Word. Hope everything is going well in the hospital.