Alright. So, I'm going out of my mind. I've been working retail at Lane Bryant which was great until I was told that I pretty much would not get promoted or get a raise because I have no managerial experience. The last two weeks I have been goin nuts working there with rich bitches screaming and being rude to me for no reason whatsoever. Friday one of the managers told me that I am going to be offered a manager position. I also met a girl who was shopping there that day that told me about a good job that I can earn $11 an hour starting out. Which is pretty fucking good considering how fucking broke I am right now. I can't even afford my alcoholism.
My car broke down eariler this week there is a shitload of stuff wrong with it that I could easily explain to you wonderful people if I knew anything about the parts inside a motor vehicle. My dad has been really great about fixing it and helping me out with all the money for the parts. My car should be all better tomorrow when we take it in to get the allignment fixed. Knock on wood and thank god it's better and all that jazz.
I'm really over men right now and I am back to thinking about just going for girls for a while. This guy I dated a while back sent me a weird stalkery text message and I havn't seen my crush guy since he drove me home that night. I don't need to date right now anyway. I feel as though I'm slowly loosing my mind, and I am sticking to my first thought of that that is probably not the right state of mind to enter a relationship.
My friend Beulah is dying. I'm trying to spend time with her but it's hard because most of her day caregivers are assholes and every time I go to see her at night or even think of seeing her at night, I end up at the bar sending my debit card into overdraft. She means so much to me and I am trying to explain this to her every time I see her thinking it might be my last. She is suffering which I want to stop. I also want her to be here with me, which at the moment mentally she isn't.
I don't know what I can do to get myself out of this mental funk. I am trying so hard but every day I find myself trying to talk myself out of being angry and sad until finally work is over and I am at the bar. That's all I got today.
My car broke down eariler this week there is a shitload of stuff wrong with it that I could easily explain to you wonderful people if I knew anything about the parts inside a motor vehicle. My dad has been really great about fixing it and helping me out with all the money for the parts. My car should be all better tomorrow when we take it in to get the allignment fixed. Knock on wood and thank god it's better and all that jazz.
I'm really over men right now and I am back to thinking about just going for girls for a while. This guy I dated a while back sent me a weird stalkery text message and I havn't seen my crush guy since he drove me home that night. I don't need to date right now anyway. I feel as though I'm slowly loosing my mind, and I am sticking to my first thought of that that is probably not the right state of mind to enter a relationship.
My friend Beulah is dying. I'm trying to spend time with her but it's hard because most of her day caregivers are assholes and every time I go to see her at night or even think of seeing her at night, I end up at the bar sending my debit card into overdraft. She means so much to me and I am trying to explain this to her every time I see her thinking it might be my last. She is suffering which I want to stop. I also want her to be here with me, which at the moment mentally she isn't.
I don't know what I can do to get myself out of this mental funk. I am trying so hard but every day I find myself trying to talk myself out of being angry and sad until finally work is over and I am at the bar. That's all I got today.