My new job has got to go. I got my first full pay check yesterday, and even though it got me out of overdraft and left me a little to play on, it's just not enough. I have decided to start to put out applications for a sit down job like a secretary or a call center. Those jobs are really not me but I need the money and I am worn out on caregiving. I have this new crush on a guy who goes to the same bar as I do. I feel so stupid having a crush like I should have grown out of them a long time ago. He's totally hot, has a great job, funny, punk, and easy to get along with. The only problem is that he likes skinny girls and is looking for a short term thing because some broad in high school broke his heart or something. Meanwhile, I drool over him every time we talk and I'm starting to feel more and more like an idiot to think he would actually go for me. Last night I got shitfaced trying to give myself liquid cofidence while chatting with him at the bar. Before I knew it I had drank 4 beers, 2 SoCo and limes, and started downing 3 straight shots (which I never fucking do). I ended up asking him to give me a ride home in the most unsexy and unplanned way- because I can barely stand. He says sure and goes out of his way to take me home. I thank him and appologize profusely and he drops me off at my house. I stumble down my driveway and my drinking buddy who stood me up calls me and takes me to Waffle House to add to the raging heart burn I have today. Well really the most exciting part of my life right now is that I am getting my hair done finally on Wednesday. 