i'm scared..and angry.
my most recent ex has always talked of suicide. he threatened to do it if i didn't go out with him, because 'he'd never find another girl like me.' then threatened to do it if i broke up with him, for the same reason.
talk about the wrong reason to be in a relationship with someone.
he said all sorts of wacked out stuff. like 'if i ever break my arm i'll kill myself because i won't be able to play guitar perfectly again.'
or 'i've saved up 25k and i'm going to give it to my friend when i kill myself..that money will go towards her taking care of my dogs.'
he was very manipulative with it...he'd turn those scary comments on and off when he felt necessary. it got to the point where it was more than i could handle. i thought i was losing my mind.
it took alot to remove myself from that situation, so i wasn't really itching to spend time with him after that. i was afraid i'd get sucked in again.
i'd spoken to him 5 times in the two months since..once in person. he called me all those times, and the one time in person was so we could do the exchange of 'stuff.' he always talked about what he was up to..never really asked about me. i never offered up that i was dating someone new, because i knew that would cause an explosion.
last thursday he saw me out with my new boyfriend. he was there with 2 girls, who had always flirted with him while we were dating. he had always told me that if i ever saw him in public, to pretend i didn't know him. i saw the back of him when i walked in...and that was it for the evening. but i know he saw me.
friday morning his away message is all 'goodbye world this is it' and junk. he wanted me to see it. he's never online when i am (aka during the day).
i'm just scared i'm going to get an email from him saying he's killed himself. he told me if he ever did it he'd send a time delayed email to me so there'd be no stopping him. how sweet.
i want him to have a happy life. i don't wish any harm to him. but i'm still afraid. i don't know what to do. calling him is just going to start a conversation i don't want to have. i shouldn't have to feel guilty for moving on with my life.
my most recent ex has always talked of suicide. he threatened to do it if i didn't go out with him, because 'he'd never find another girl like me.' then threatened to do it if i broke up with him, for the same reason.
talk about the wrong reason to be in a relationship with someone.
he said all sorts of wacked out stuff. like 'if i ever break my arm i'll kill myself because i won't be able to play guitar perfectly again.'
or 'i've saved up 25k and i'm going to give it to my friend when i kill myself..that money will go towards her taking care of my dogs.'
he was very manipulative with it...he'd turn those scary comments on and off when he felt necessary. it got to the point where it was more than i could handle. i thought i was losing my mind.
it took alot to remove myself from that situation, so i wasn't really itching to spend time with him after that. i was afraid i'd get sucked in again.
i'd spoken to him 5 times in the two months since..once in person. he called me all those times, and the one time in person was so we could do the exchange of 'stuff.' he always talked about what he was up to..never really asked about me. i never offered up that i was dating someone new, because i knew that would cause an explosion.
last thursday he saw me out with my new boyfriend. he was there with 2 girls, who had always flirted with him while we were dating. he had always told me that if i ever saw him in public, to pretend i didn't know him. i saw the back of him when i walked in...and that was it for the evening. but i know he saw me.
friday morning his away message is all 'goodbye world this is it' and junk. he wanted me to see it. he's never online when i am (aka during the day).
i'm just scared i'm going to get an email from him saying he's killed himself. he told me if he ever did it he'd send a time delayed email to me so there'd be no stopping him. how sweet.
i want him to have a happy life. i don't wish any harm to him. but i'm still afraid. i don't know what to do. calling him is just going to start a conversation i don't want to have. i shouldn't have to feel guilty for moving on with my life.
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remember to take the deep breaths, it's the first step.
I've known too many, people though. makes me want to smack this dude.
ANYWAY . . . that sucks you can't go to Buffalo! I sent in my check for 7 tix tonight. oh lordy. It's become a full "dde cre outing." I hope I get home in time to get to work the next day. whoooooo.
but they don't let cameras in!! but if Shera's gonna be there, I don't know . . . I may have to give it up for a polaroid . . .sheesh!
I"ll take pictures with my mind. hah!
talk to you soon! hang in there!!!!
e.
I decided about a year ago that people who constantly talk about how they're going to kill or hurt themselves in public deserve a big, public hug. It will either embarass the hell out of them and hopefully knock some sense into them if they were faking or could make them feel better (if they feel bad enough that they must announce it to everyone, they won't mind a hug in front of everyone). Either way, you get to find out what the real intentions of the threats are. It's win-win, really. (note: I've not gotten to try this yet so this is based on theory alone)
If they tell you privately, it's time to spread the word anyway, to others close to them (parents, friends, etc.). This is never something a person should have to cope with alone. And if the other does go through with it, there would always be the feeling of complete guilt to cope with. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck in solving the problem.