sexybeast

I'm sitting here wishing I had updated yesterday. I remember having so many interesting things to talk about, but apparently they weren't interesting enough for me to remember. It probably would have turned into a long boring update that started with something about it being really interesting. Instead, I'll have a long boring update that starts with something about it being a long boring update. It's okay if you don't get my sense of humor, I'm normally the only one that does... or atleast the only person that enjoys it.

Our new apartment is at the end of a freeway. The end of the freeway intersects with another freeway, so when I go to get on, I have the option of one freeway or another South, East, or West. I've only lived here for a couple of weeks and it seem like it will be intersting. The last day of us moving stuff into this apartment, I was getting on and there were two cars stopped and two guys were pushing one of the cars. I pulled over and helped push. The guy had run out of gas, so I gave him a ride to his house to get a gas can, then to the gas station and back to his car. It was slightly more intersting than that, but I'm trying to keep it short.

Last night, like the first time, I was exiting and on the entrance side I saw a car. It was stopped with hazard lights on and the driver side door open all the way. It was stopped in the middle of the two entrance lanes. I wasn't going to stop atfirst because I didn't see anybody there. It was late and very dark. After I passed, I noticed a woman on the small median area, with a small dog. There were no other cars behind me at the time, so I put on my hazard lights and start backing up. There is a harness on the dog, but no leash. The woman is holding the dog by the harness, while the dog is eating what looks like leftover chinese food. I honestly thought that it was an insane woman, who stopped to feed her dog. I almost drove off. Instead, I asked if something was wrong. If it were me in her place, I possibly would have said "No stupid, I just thought this would be a great spot to feed my dog. Thanks for stopping though." Of course, that's not what she said, but it would have been great if it was. She said that she was driving and saw this little dog running back and forth, he almost got hit by four cars. She was able to get him by offering food, but she didn't want to pick him up and try taking him to her car, because she was afraid he may bite. It was such a cute little, young dog. He was clean, with a collar and a harness, but no tag. She said, it just so happens that she has her dogs kennel* in her car and if I would hold him, she would get it. I told her that she should move her car to the side, instead of leaving it in the middle. She thought it was a good idea, but seemed completely oblivious of the other cars. Luckily, there were none, until after she moved her car, but then she kept stepping out into the lane, without paying any attention to the cars speeding by. There's nothing exciting, like the woman stepping back and getting splattered** by a car or anything like that. We put the dog in the kennel and she says that she can take care of it from here, which I imagine means that the dog is very cute and has found a new home with her.

*Kennel - I think it's the right word for it. It's a little dog carrying thing.
**Splattered - I watch to many zombie movies. I know. I should have said it when I started, nothing interesting happens, but atleast you wasted a minute or something.

Hopefully, I'll be getting a fridge this Saturday. Hopefully, I'll be going to a LAN party this Saturday. Hopefully, I'll get orally pleasured sometime in the near future. Don't worry, I do mean from my wife, not you. It's good to hope for things, as long as expectations don't get to high. One of the sad things about this world is that there isn't enough you can count on, but don't worry, you can count on me. You can count on me to sexually harass my wife most days of the week. You can count on me to drink. You can count on me to drink and sexually harass my wife.

A very wise man once said, "The bigger the penis, the more the magical powers." Of course, it was Buddy Holly who said, "Dum-dee-dum-dum Oh boy Dum-dee-dum-dum Oh boy.
And that's the truth.