seth_

I'm pretty proud right now. I just rallied myself to turn in my column on time and change my outlook. I wasn't having a pity party necessarily, but I was definitely downward spiraling, feeling alone in what I'm up to, resenting that I don't have more support, and getting extremely worried about how I would make it through.

Somehow I came to remember that the tricky thing about depression is getting tangled in a web of thoughts that aren't helping, and then getting pulled down by them more and more as they add power to each other. So I got up to take a walk around, switch it up, and I ended up going two steps, and coming back to sit down and just power through to finish my column.

Just submitted it, which feels really good, especially since a few hours ago I didn't even care enough to figure out how I was going to finish or put in the effort to get it done or go somewhere to submit it. But what's even more satisfying is this feeling: the feeling that I did it, I snapped myself out of it, I can rely on myself, I am strong, and I changed my direction in just a small and simple little thing.

A victory for me, even if nobody else ever knows how it feels or what it's all about. I'm making it significant to me, and something not to forget!

Hope your weekends are going swimmingly.

xxo