ISOLATION:
This semester Ive actually decided to do the only thing I could to preserve my sanity. I just seperated from everybody in my life. I . . . had to. I had a lot of shit going on in my life, and Im not afraid of being alone and being alone was the only way I could deal with it.
There were like three things that were messing me up. Two of them I will write about here. First, I have always been a really intuitive person. Then I came to the college and . . . Im at a really weird point now. Most of my studies have focused on linguistics, psychology, and interpersonal relations. Combine that shit with a really intuitive person in the first place . . . yeah, I was getting tired of seeing shit people didnt want me to see and assumed I coudnt see. I was tired of seeing the stuff that people hide even from themselves. I was tired of seeing the things I tried to hide from myself. It was driving me insane.
The second part was my workload, Im doing about 80 hours a week . . . easy. No time for friends or social life really. With two exceptions. My friend Christina, who I visit once a month and my friend Juliya, who I only see because I am smoker and so is she. So we get like three or four six minute periods together a day . . . tops.
But the third thing is kinda of private, so I aint gonna write about here. But that third thing was the really big reason I was purposefully avoiding people, even my old friends this semester. But I think I have it under control now. . .
I know this is a really weird thing to write about on a journal like this. But I felt really bad because I was reading through a friends LJ and she kinda of got hit hard by the third reason, and didnt understand that I wasnt really socializing with anyone this semseter until I got in control of my life and my new awarenesses. It was driving me nuts and I had to go into isolation. I feel really bad that it upset her.
This semester Ive actually decided to do the only thing I could to preserve my sanity. I just seperated from everybody in my life. I . . . had to. I had a lot of shit going on in my life, and Im not afraid of being alone and being alone was the only way I could deal with it.
There were like three things that were messing me up. Two of them I will write about here. First, I have always been a really intuitive person. Then I came to the college and . . . Im at a really weird point now. Most of my studies have focused on linguistics, psychology, and interpersonal relations. Combine that shit with a really intuitive person in the first place . . . yeah, I was getting tired of seeing shit people didnt want me to see and assumed I coudnt see. I was tired of seeing the stuff that people hide even from themselves. I was tired of seeing the things I tried to hide from myself. It was driving me insane.
The second part was my workload, Im doing about 80 hours a week . . . easy. No time for friends or social life really. With two exceptions. My friend Christina, who I visit once a month and my friend Juliya, who I only see because I am smoker and so is she. So we get like three or four six minute periods together a day . . . tops.
But the third thing is kinda of private, so I aint gonna write about here. But that third thing was the really big reason I was purposefully avoiding people, even my old friends this semester. But I think I have it under control now. . .
I know this is a really weird thing to write about on a journal like this. But I felt really bad because I was reading through a friends LJ and she kinda of got hit hard by the third reason, and didnt understand that I wasnt really socializing with anyone this semseter until I got in control of my life and my new awarenesses. It was driving me nuts and I had to go into isolation. I feel really bad that it upset her.