serudeboi

I only blog once every 1-3 months so Im so that I found a really good one. Let me tell you about yesterday....oh and for the like 2 of you who still read my blog I added more to my last one as well. I think I will like 24 this one(my roomie's got me watching that....yeah). A lot of this stuff is contextual...it gets better the longer you read. yesterday was .... surreal.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 3:00 AM AND 6:30 AM
Was talking to my girlfriend online. had run out of smokes but wanted cloves so was going to wait until 7am when the earliest opening gas station opened up and head there. But get twitchy and leave early.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 6:30 AM and 7:00 AM
Luckily I was wrong about the place opening at 7am, in reality it was 6am..so I coulda gotten smokes at 6am.
I dont waste time so I had also brought my laundry w/me. The place I do laundry at is NEXT DOOR to the place I get my smokes from. But....cant win them all. Thght that opened @ 7am but in reality it was 8am. Decide its not worth it to go back to campus and drive back in a hour.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 7:00 AM and 8:00 am
Pulled into parking lot of winn-dixie across the street(had better lighting) and read one of my text books. Felt lame most of the employees are arriving and Im sitting in my car reading my book.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00 AM and 9:00 am
Wait outside laundromat sitting on laundry. 4 other people come, get frustred, and leave. Pish-posh ppl no patience. Plus I have a theory.....

BETWEEN THE HOURS of 9:00 am and 11:30 am
Yep, the guy who opens it up had gotten screwed up by daylight savings time. He opens it up and apologizes profusely. I accept definetly; I mean those time-changes screw me up too so cant be mad.
After that....what do you think I do my laundry and have breakfest. my last load takes forever to dry no clue why. Probably too many jeans in that load. Continued studying and got 1/14 chapters in 1/5 textbooks completly notated and outlined.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 11:30 am and 12:30pm
This is where things get interesting. I figure I have class @ 3pm so have 2 1/2 hours b/f I NEED to get back to campus....and I so rarerly get off campus during the day. Either i could play it safe and head back to campus or I could do some shooping.
My need for new music over-rides my worries about class and I head to place I loved but hadnt been to in years. The only semi-acceptable place on this side of the river. So yeah drive around for 1/2 hour before give up and head into the mall which I could swear was across the street from the music store wanted to go too.

BETWEEN THE HOURS oF 12:30pm and 1:30pm
Walk around mall after putting on clean shirt and head to hot topic. Hey, figured they would know where the store was. Ask 1 employee; looks confused. Ask another employee they give me this pity look....*im thinking why would they do that when I just asked abt the place where everybody goes to buy thier concert tickets!!!!
They actually have the hushed tone, breaker of bad news thing going on. Employee says thier closed. Makes me a little sad because now I will have to drive 15 instead of 5 to get tickets and good, slightly less mainstream, CDs. So I ask since they seem = upset about it in same tone of voice theyve been using. "For how long?"
PAUSE; I read the emotion in the voice correctly, but must note we also pity the mentally or social infirm; I was just reading it the wrong way because I thought it was about the closing: UNPAUSE
She responds, pity, "For .............................................. a long time ............ now."
Ashamed I leave the store and go to FYE now I need good music to cover my shame.
Find an excellent sampler for 20 dollars that contains a lot of songs they play at my favorite saturday night club.So Im happy again
COMMERCIAL BREAK
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO JUST WANT TO READ THE GOOD STUFF START HERE

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 12:30 pm and 1:30 pm
so Im like I need to eat...where to go. Bennigans....looks at time. No, no not enough time *sadness*. Taco bell, yeah taco bell. Get order and reach for change. TOO MANY DAMN PENNIES IN THE WORLD took me too long to find change. So pull up to window with only like half the change I wanted to dig outta my door in hand because I did not want to p'o anybody involved in the process that gets me food.
Sheepishly take drink from here and tell her that Im still looking for my change hand her .20 out of the 35 plabbed to hand her and w/1 hand free expect to be able to get out the other .15 much easier. reaching in to get dime and nickel I see. when..........
GUST OF WIND
the 20 I had in my hand goes flying away on the wind b/c I wasnt holding it tightly enough(since I was about to hand it to her). ummm....drop dime and nickel in deepest part of door and watch 20 float away failing to grab it....its doing the slow float thing.
since im in the drive through CAN NOT open door b/c of post thingy. give change get drink. Ask cashier to tell me where my 20 went since its out of sight. Shes like directly behind you. Thanks I say. She says, I still need 11 dollars.....and Im thinking not too smart huh. I tell her it will just be a second, she closes window.
Nobody else in drivethrough so I back up the 2 carlengths slowly....(see im not stupid quick movement might have blown around a 20....seen it before) with door open enough to watch ground. Find and retrieve; putting in seat next to me before returning to window.


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETLY DIFFERENT.
Return to window much ashamed now thank you ma'am. And reach into other seat to retrieve 20. In order to get it earlier I had to pick it up from outside the car so seat belt not on for once.... heres what I think happened next. wearing new pants, bought them SAT and its MON new!!!
1. Pants have zipper on side; a careful examination of what was left after the disastor occured revealed that zipper has part that sticks out of one end like a mini tab(wish I could draw you all a pic).
2. Leaning over to get 20 causes zipper to point down.
3. leaning further puts zipper into now empty seat belt holder
4. enough pressure is exerted that zipper locks in place LIKE seat belt.
5. Lean back w/20 to give to cashier.
6. zipper is not long like seatbelt metal piece & doest not actually have a seat belt on it. I am actually locked in place w/my car.
7. Feel a sudden pressure around waist and then release DISASTOR HAS OCCURED!!!! DAY RUINED!!!!
AS ARE 3 DAY OLD PANTS. SIDE ZIPPER has been ripped off.
8. Sudden smile on face, here you go. gives 20 to cashier & waits for change................wants to rage at world inside
Gets change eventually food. unclicks zipper outta seat belt and cradles in hand and eats food in parking lot studying. At that point I decide I absolutely do not want to go to class that day.

BETWEEEN THE HOURS OF 2:30 PM AND 4:30 PM
Study in starbucks and drink coffee get another chapter from text book done.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 4:30 pm and 6:00 pm
Drive back to campus get spot and then shower. Go to meeting

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 6:00 pm and 7:00 pm
Meeting is very short only 1/2 of officers there so not a whole lot we could discuss. The girls I normally go out w/on monday night afterwards are not there but I find out one of em is on campus working on a paper in the computer lab.
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 7:00pm and 8:30 pm
walk to computer lab and search not there. walk to library and search, not there. Get on computer and do research finding out what else is open on monday cause really want to go out.
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:30pm and 9:30 pm
Stop and get gas before heading to the place I would have gone with them anyways. Hey it was close and there is no gaurentee they or the rest of the grouup will not show so what the hey.
While driving there pass one of the local venues and see a huge crowd. WTF, I think I didnt know there was a concert tonight. Park for bad but walk to venue 1st to find out whos playing...

MAD CADDIES who I likes a lot and they are sold out.
Walk back to Lynches but stop by the other places in the area open on Monday night; The Ritz and Ocean Club, to ask door guys about what it like there on monday nights. They give me lame answers(its okay and we have such and such specials) okay, okay does not tell me ANYTHING at all. So I decide to leave and go to lynches and have a couple scoping the other two out later.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9:30 AND 11:00 PM
1. So get in to lynches at 9:38 after grabbing some stuff from my car to do.
2. Order 2 beers @ 2$ each + tip. Waitress brings it over and asks about the ppl I normally come with. Explain that its mid-terms so I dont know if they are coming tonight or not.
3. After ordering get to business have to design flyers for show. Figure on 4 sets of flyers...maybe 5 targeted towards 5 different places and groups of people. The gothic bar where Im on very good terms w/the staff and managers who would probably distribute it for me. The indie bar where I go every wensday and thursdays to make sure none of my kids get into trouble; its also very popular with the University Kids so definte good spot. The other straight clubs and gay clubs in the area(advertising about an event that LGBT would no about straight would not but find fun when they do go). And around campus(lame rules mean I cant say the same things around campus that I can off campus)
4. One of the bouncers is bored so comes over and chats with me for about 15 minutes before "returning to work"
5. Then I get my design Ideas(listed below in comments section)
6. mad design work for about 1/2 an hour that has me so focused that I only finish 1 beer.
7. Plan out all avenue of distribution and alternative methods of distribution. Review contacts to see how much work would be needed to do promotions at different places. Review the very short list of ppl in my head who I would trust to do promotions and figure out who I could put where.
8. Finished with work...its probably 10:15 by now so finish my other beer and order 2 more. I got that done so fast that I am uber hapy.
9. Work on another while review work and writing side notes and questions about prom design and distribution. its about half done by then so move on to making my prom schedule for the next 3 weeks.
Or drinking/clubbing schedule if you want to be cynical about it :-P. By then Im done w/my third for the night and starting on my fourth. Waitress does something uber-neat she actually plans ahead and bring me two more before I even asked.
10. Lol I was only planning on 4 that night but I liked it enough that I decided I would let it slide this time and have 2 more and stick around a little longer.
11. Band comes on so I watch them for a little bit while the place gets really full up.
12. Ive finished the 5th when my bladder hits me. But its standing room only right now. So I think about what to do.
13. lol, this is great...I rip out a piece of paper from my note book on it and write on it. "Dunna touch an irishmans table. Allright, allright at least not the beer. my name. BRB.
14. Go to b-room expecting to lose both table and beer; PLACE IS PACKED. After waiting in line and returning through the crowd which involved a lot of waiting b/c I dont push through crowds of ppl holding beer in thier hand....it can get messy A and violent B if you are not careful and A and B are just not worth it.
15. Get back to table and feel like a mafioso my table & beer, which are also center of the room 2nd row of tables from stage so perfect seating. Have remained untouched. Thank you very much but I want to get outta here before too much longer. So I finish the other quickly and start to head towards door.

BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 11:00 and 11:20 pm
On my way out somebody remembers me and asks me if I would be interested in going out with him for a smoke. Allready on my way out for a smoke I agree.
Usual chit-chat and then he starts saying things that are striking me as odd. #1 he doesnt look familiar and claims to have seen me around a lot. #2 hes making a lot of assumptions about me that have to do more with persona I put off most places I go then me(most ppl pick up the way I dress and act when around strangers is just that an act to maximize my safety et cetera around a place/ppl I dont know too different. The SECOND I meet somebody I actually know or have a good convo, everything changes). So that gets me thinking...I hang around a lot of different places so I can think of a lot of reasons why somebody I dont know would want me to think I know them; most of them are not good...
So I turn to talking about other clubs and we find out that we also know each other from another club. playing up emotion on face but not unnatrually to give him a hint about which place to pick. Again its the place I hang out on SAT nights BUT I used to go to almost eveery other night and indicate that I know the place very well. And he and me start talking about how much fun last FRI night was.
Okay FRI night there...its 80's and oldiers night. A) 80% of the crowd is AT LEAST 30's or older B) 15% of the rest are die hard regulars of the club who go every night and I know every one of em. C) so the other 5% sticks out like a sore thumb. I choose FRI night because if he had seen me there then he is lying. very few ppl his age go and definately not him.
Oh btw I brought up FRI night indirectly but last week as being the time he saw me there was entirely his choice of words. Have not been there on FRI in almost 2 months.
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 11:20 and 11:30.
Suddenly the emotion leave my face and I straighten up and sober out all in the part of 30 seconds...you see its all an act I can do that. And tell him I havent been to the eclipse on FRI night in over 2 months locking him with a stare to tell him I caught him and go inside. Dont like when ppl screw with me like that and dont know why he was lying so figure I should tell the bouncers. But cant tell them right after I caught the con-artists outside or else he would run. So go to b-room and return to front door feeling really jittery now...where theres 1 theres often more Ive learned.
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 11:30 and 11:40
So stop by the bouncer I was talking to earlier tonight and tell him "somebody just tried to mark me" he has no clue what Im talking about so I explain that you make a mark of somebody when you target them for something. He asks what for... I tell him depends could be a lot of things all I know was this this guy targeted me. *explains quickly about what happened* and bouncer is trying to understand why somebody would do such a thing, but believes me know. I tell him I will just point him out if I see him around. Repeat the same thing w/another bouncer in another part of thee room no clue either. So Im on full red alert about this place now. Some body tried to con me earlier, I caught em, and the bouncers have no clue about that being a problem or what that means.
I get the fuck outta there playing up my senses and my act to almost ridiculous levels(a slight mis-step in the empty spaces of the bar, keeping my eyes unfocused, later on int the night making sure to tip glass back far enough that every drink splashes a little bit, et cetera) Im also freaking myself out b/c this is all coming natrually to me and Im realizing that Im very good at it...lol....yeah ppl reactions changed completely. Hopefully also any con's as well. Because I now after a scan look very drunk and friendly and unkempt but a long look would reveal that its obviously an act(intended I assure you I didnt want anybody good to come after me; an amateur like before I could pick probably pick up on, especially if they are over confident).
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 11:40 and 12:00
So I got into the other bar and am actually a little cocky because I discovered I had another ability I didnt know aobut(the specific act I put on). and I didnt really know how to ask what I wanted to ask the bartender. So I decided to play it like in the movies adding in my own skills.
1. ORDER A Guiness and water.
Why guiness its a dark beer and I might want to get out of there soon. But dark beer plus water looks like light beer. (came in two diff glasses so couldnt do that but plans within plans)
Guiness is also very very foamy. Im going to be pretend drinking the rest of the night so I need lots of foam so I dont get any more alcohol in my system.
That was my logic anywho
2. Tip 2 the standard and then tell him I want to ask him a question.
3. Ordering a beer and water must have already piqued his interest no body does that.
4. Tip secured his professional interest.
5. Told him "someguy just tried to make a mark of me at the other bar. I just want to know how many cons there are in the area. glances left and right to obv indicate the bar.
6. Surprized when it worked and worked very well. He leans in extra close and asks me "gloves, you mean gloves?" and I think sounds about right but dont know the terminology. So I say yeah, yeah. He respond. A lot....lots. Nods.
7. me: okay, thanks could I also have another water. Give him a ten and walk away w/o change(on purpose no duh).
8. Move to a corner of the room where I could set my water near me but look like Im drinking the guniess; keep one of my hands in my pocket that has my stuff in it(money is on the inside of that jacket, same side but done purposefully since now I have not given away the locations of my money stash nor am I leaving it ungaurded "and drink away" the next 15 minutes. But the play the song I like..note to readers I have had a grand total of 7 beers tonight over now 2 1/2 hours. Forgot to mention 1 of the beers.) And Im planning on geeting out when I have a grand total of 2 in system. um....that would meen I would be ready to leave aprox 2am on the safe side.
9. A song is playing again this time I get target by somebody who has more expertise then the guy earlier. But shes picking up on my act as intended for professionals and trys to figure out why that was, she figured me to be one of the those ppl who gives you a pick-me-up at the clubs and bars when you left your stuff at home. In case you didnt figure it out she thought I would be able to get her drugs and asked me if I had any on me I could give to her.
10. GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE AS WELL
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 12:00-12:15pm
11. Now Im thinking bouncers dont know thier jobs, Ive been in something shadey twice this evening, and the bartender told me that there were a lot of "gloves" and the area dont know if he means pick-pockets or con-artists or just violent mother-fo'sbut he seems to know the most about what hes talking about and what Im seein there tonight so Im going to believe him.
12. But I need one more piece of information....so I wonder over one of the cop cars playing drunk....if there are people around who i think around I want to look very drunk; like so drunk that I would actually ask a cop a stupid direction rather then what Im really doing at the moment.
13. Walk in a manner to an outsider would look like a drunken ramble. But make no mistake Ive had some basic training about what a cop SHOULD notice and not notice thinks to four years at the academy(Criminal Justice Academy @ pinellas park high; I was in the law track, not law enforcement track but nonethess still picked up a lot stuff; keep this in mind very very much for the rest of this. With bouncer and bartenders I dont know asking these sort of questions and trying to give off body language probably looks like bad TV but Im not stupid and I do know the forms and procedures for LE officials.) so my drunken ramble places me at a very odd spot abt half an arm length from the findwo and his rear view mirror. In case you want to know I dont know what hes watching or if hes watching right now but I have placed myself relative to the crowds that I am not blocking anyof his view of anything.
The thing Im not sure is what to say when he rolls down the window. But I get something that should have been good enough if he picked up on either the fact that I had not walked directly to his window like most ppl would have(Thereby blocking his l.o.s.) or that I was acting at being drunk rather then being so.
Ask him the following "Im getting a really creepy feeling around here....I could either take a taxi home or I have a book in my car that I could read for a few hours. Which do you suggest officer?" Translations: if this place is as bad as I think it is I should get out of here. If youve picked up on either of the two things that Im trying to transmit to you that Im not drunk which you should have been trained to notice; esp. since one of them is very, very, very odd the you will figured out that Im really asking you because I dont leave as long as theres anything in my system that MIGHT potenital impiar me at all. not just that see straight crap that most ppl do. and you are the one person who can give me a hint about the criminal element here. But if there is then they are standing right across the street so I dont want to ask you that straight out.
His response. The Taxi, You're Drunk, Go home. Snobby look at me and roll up window.
BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 12:15am and 2:00am.
Yeah, NOW IM PISSED. Even if he didnt catch on to the act, so hes more incompotent then most of the bar staff who picked up that it was an act right away and its the incompetence of said staff that makes me want to get out of there....but it was still a reasonable question and a reasonable response except for the treatment of a "DRUNKEN" citizen who actually didnt try to drive home and just asked you wait around a little while or take a taxi?
So I spent the next 1:45minutes writing a nice letter to JSO about the officer in car 11. before going home. Coudnt leave before then so had to wait until he left. He know thinks Im wasted(idiot) and will pull me over I have to leave.
HAHA heres the funny part. He leaves the area when just after they call last call, WTF!!!! , and I watch tons of wasted ppl pour out from both bars(from the passanger seat of my car so there no confusion on the officers part about what Im doing in my car) and begging talking about whether or not theyve had too much to drink to drive. I have never seen such a drunken horde before!!!!! and I do hang out in bars. Thinking to myself, maybe 1:10 of you maybe one in 10 of you. Case in point; my concern has now switched to the horde so I step outta the car to "have a smoke" and do what I norm do towards the end of the night. Look for a lone drunk b/c maybe just maybe I can talk them into A) staying and talking/sharing a smoke B) catching a ride with somebody else or C) Catching a ride w/me if they really need it.

wink,wink my dorm room is amazingly close ot any part of the city. especially since we are HERE right now and I take so and so back so I could drop you off and not even have to drive anywhere far from my usual route. Done it 2 times before but made the offer a couple of other times.

But anywho case in pont. Guy, white male driver it turns out, for a car load of 5 others. Come to me and asks me for a smoke. I say, sure thier cloves. Pauses(obv does not like) sure I will take anything right now you see I just lost my girlfriend tonight.

Im like o god here comes a story. So I say sure sure and hand him a clove. He ligts it takes a couple of drags. and then I direct his line of vision towards a car(his) with a group of ppl standing around it waiting to get in.
He notices and says to me Oh there she is relief and happiness floods his face. I have a very confused look now.
My girlfriend I just found my girlfriend thank you a lot. I thought I had lost her.(he had lost his girlfriend in a small bar of about 120 ppl max and now hes driving them all home .... yeah).

END

HAHA sorry about the lengthiness but good and true and bizarre story.