Let me start off with the goals I did not do good at: 1) songs about being free-I flat out forgot about this. However, I also want to say that upon further contemplation of this, I think this is a huge homework assignment but one that should be done later, much later.
2)yoga video-procrastination? Laziness? No motivation? But, I did find a video that I think will be the one I will use for this and it's only audio which I think helps a lot:
The video that was recommended to me, I cannot find on my phone, but I think this is it.
3)working out- I only went Friday. Saturday was a laundry day, Sunday I didn't feel like getting out of the house, although eventually I did. Monday was a day of running around doing bureaucratic bullshit in order to submit an application for employment with a government program for the unemployed. About that, I actually got a call from an agency on whether or not I was interested in a program for unemployed people ages 29-64 last Wednesday. I didn't want to bring it up during the last session because this is Greece we're talking about and I am going to put this as a 5% chance of even happening. Furthermore, this CV that I"ve sent to the backburner of my life now needs to come to the forefront. I need to do this ASAP because I don't think I'm leaving this country this year, so why not apply for a summer job and hope I get sent to some island somewhere. I can still do therapy sessions so that matters most.
4)Nature walk-I waited till the last minute to do this, but I did, and here are my results:
This is where my dad is. He was always telling me from a young age, he'd be lucky if he made it past age 63. Why the fuck would you tell a child, let alone your child, this? What was I supposed to say to that?
am I sick/deranged/dumb for taking a selfie in a cemetery? I actually wanted to take a selfie, but it just so happened I was there...whatev....
this is a man-made 'river' or there's some other term for this that I can't remember. You know, humans try and try to fool nature for their own gain which makes no sense to me at all because be it a snowstorm, firestorm, earthquake, tornado, nature always finds a way to be nature, can't be fooled no matter what.
This was not at all the picture fest that I had envisioned when setting this goal Not that it was a waste of time, but I think I need to go deeper and into more detail.
5) paintings.....I started two of them, but I need to wait a couple days for the paint to dry so that I can finish them. Perhaps by Thursday I'll finish?
6)Collage--this was by far my most favorite activity but I actually surprised myself with this, not by the end result, but with the magazines I chose to use. I used Mens Health, some Greek current events magazine, Hello! fashion..?? and Marie Claire.
I did not have a particular message or vision when doing this. I just wanted to cut out pictures from different magazines and put them together. I guess if anything, this is what you'd find if you took a snapshot of the thoughts I have all at once. Women's vanity, the refugee crisis, the Greek church, nature, being spiritual, breasts, and politicians. What I did not anticipate was my view on women's magazines, and in particular, fashion models. For so long I've viewed the topic as fake, the models are all conceited, mainstream....what I discovered upon looking through the two women's magazines is that a good majority of the models being photographed, and the actual photographs themselves, are actually pretty exotic. Now obviously, their main purpose is to sell you something, not just to show off any art, but I was pleasantly surprised. After doing this, I realized, I'm going to buy a religion magazine, and combine it with a fashion magazine and I'm going to make some very off the wall stuff and I thin it's going to be fanfuckingtastic doing this. This should be a goal every week.
Finally, regarding gambling. I have been bet-free since last Thursday morning. As stated last week, the opportunity to make any type of bet is always nearby, but the desire or temptation to do so has for the most part been non-existent. What does this mean? I do not feel better about myself....my situation is still the same...so why should i keep doing this other than the fact that I will not have lost a ton of money?
