It's almost felt like a nightmare not being on here. There's no point in explaining the different methods I looked into in trying to renew, whatever, I found a way, it's over with. What there is point in explaining is how disgusted I feel towards my fellow Greek people. I have money to buy something, and yet I"m not allowed to buy it. The capital controls imposed on the banks are because of other people's corruption, other peoples way of life, other people's view on "what is proper for the country", and not my own. These are things that are not in my control, and I've been doing lots of therapy on that subject. Yet I have had no blog or no one to 'understand' my complaints and so a lot of things have had to build up inside of me. I've always said "If you don't like it, get the fuck out," and that's exactly how I feel about my situation here. I don't belong here, I don't feel anyone here and no one feels me. I've completely given up on trying to be something that I am not, the problem with that is, do I like what I am? Trying to accept yourself, let alone be accepted by others, is proving to be a very difficult task for me right now. Coupled with the fact that I live in a village of village-minded people. As an example, the women here are so not Suicidegirlsish, they are too clean, and too princess-like. They remind me of dressed up sticks. And you know what? That's ok. I just want nothing to do with people like that. I am a self-proclaimed drama-queen, and damned proud of it. Put some passion into it, go through rough times to make it stronger, an d then come out of it with your fists in the air and be proud of the moments you deserve. You know, there is a Hatebreed song that goes like this "Now is the time for me to rise to my feet, wipe the spit from my face, wipe these tears from my eyes..." This is how I want to feel.......how I've actually been feeling has been somewhat different. There's a saying of how old habits never die and it's no different for me. I haven't been as active at the gym, although my junk food intake is still very minimal and soda intake very minimal. But its just time passing by and opportunities wasted. So, I have still been doing therapy and have goals to accomplish up until Tuesday....goal 1) to complete two days with no gambling..so far, not good. Goal 2) To go three days to the gym........so far, not good. Goal 3) To one again start reading passages from my GA book one day at at time.......so far, not good.........here's the thing though.......I have a blog again and why is this important to me? Because I am accountable to someone or some people now. My brain works as follows: If I blog about any one particular goal that I need to accomplish, then the percentage rate of that goal being achieved increases. I kinda feel like I have my fellow members to be accountable to. Is it the right way? No. But at this point I don't care what way is right or wrong. My problem with the gym has always been getting out the door. Once I close the door, a sense of excitement/accomplishment over comes me and it usually leads to a very productive workout.
Now to get to some incredibly awesome stuff........
This is @karanlit and it was the first set my eyes came across last night. The first feelings I felt were excitement and relief. Excitement because it's such a vibrant set and I'm always thrilled to see sets like this. Relief because you're not going to see pictures like this anywhere else. There is something about this set in which the photos seem more than just photos. Something is speaking out to me when I look at these pictures. Simply incredible!
This is @couri incredibly beautiful woman, incredibly beautiful set....go show them some love!!!!!!!!!!!!!
