As with all groups that arrive in Cyprus, the newest group eats all the shit. What's really struck a bad vibe in me though is that I'm currently experiencing things that I should have experienced in my first month here. The difficulties with personalities has seemed to wear down though and I'm sort of at ease again. I was actually in somewhat of a rhythm before I was sent for a vacay and now I'm all out of shape. My venting and all has led me to another very important discovery about myself though and I'm very excited to report. I have never been able to control my emotions. Never learned how to do it, but never even thought it was a problem and I'm happy to discover that I've finally realized and acknowledged this. Now, what do I do about it? ways to control. I have no idea but I'm thinking about it a lot. When retarded 19 year old number one tells me not to smoke, as he lights up a cigarette, how do you control your emotions? I visualize me shoving my rifle up his ass and him crying in pain, but that's not the right thing to do. Perhaps try to ignore him or maybe just smile and go with the flow...dunno. \
Something else is kinda starting to happen though unexpectedly to me which is making good friendships. I'm in the army. I eat, sleep, and do exercises with these people non stop. I can't get away from them. When, I first joined and up until a couple weeks ago, I didn't realize and or appreciate this. I think what has happened though is that my group went through some experiences together, as a group, and it kinda united us together. I don't feel as though I'm this inexperienced ugly piece of shit when I'm around them. I go out for a coffee with them. I make them laugh. They show me respect. I dunno, I don't think I'm describing it properly but I think slowly something is starting to change, and we have only few days left until the new group arrives and we wont do as much as we are now. I'm kinda excited about the days ahead.
Something else is kinda starting to happen though unexpectedly to me which is making good friendships. I'm in the army. I eat, sleep, and do exercises with these people non stop. I can't get away from them. When, I first joined and up until a couple weeks ago, I didn't realize and or appreciate this. I think what has happened though is that my group went through some experiences together, as a group, and it kinda united us together. I don't feel as though I'm this inexperienced ugly piece of shit when I'm around them. I go out for a coffee with them. I make them laugh. They show me respect. I dunno, I don't think I'm describing it properly but I think slowly something is starting to change, and we have only few days left until the new group arrives and we wont do as much as we are now. I'm kinda excited about the days ahead.