sertraline

It has been a very rough past couple of weeks. I refuse to talk to anyone, only been to the gym three times, and just find all kinds of comfort lying in my bed. I kinda feel like I"m waiting for something to happen but I don't know what. There's nothing to look forward to and I'm constantly looking back. I'm always thinking of New Jersey but there's no way I'm going back there. I just found out a new casino opened in philly a few months ago. I banned myself for life back in Sept. of '09 so there's no way I could go there, but it's just the mere thought of another one being so close to where I lived that gives me the chills. I may still be clean as of July 25, but all the signs are pointing to another relapse. Isolation, depression, lack of motivation all are tell-tale signs of my gambling. I just hope I can go tomorrow, that's all I want, I've come this far and I can't understand why I'm quitting now. I just don't feel like it's worth it to be honest, what will happen if I become skin and bones? I guess this is fear of the unknown, although I can't say I feel particularly scared right now.