update...theres a part of me that says I haven't moved on. Theres an entire me that says I still avoid confrontation and avoid problems. That's kinda the 'subconcious reasoning' behind my message with the lesbian. I don't se her anymore, I don't talk to her anymore, and I don't think about her anymore. However, her name makes me nervous. I can't look at this girls name without being reminded of how much of a piece of shit I was to her and to others. She responded and I responded back, not too much detail, no drama, just that I miss GA meetings and that I'm waiting to join the military. So I'm looking back at this as a success for now, maybe next week will be different, but success because I confronted something that made me nervous and I did not over-react. Maybe it's just an itty bitty test....but I passed and am ready for another test. soooo, now, what else makes me nervous? The ultimate fear, rejection. Is this something I'm ready to tackle on now? I need to figure out what other small tests I can put myself throug to overcome this 'avoiding problems' issue. I spend the majority of my day inside the house, can I actually go out and try and make a friend? I need more and more people in my life.
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