I had thos whole passage typed away here and then I hit some button and it was all erased away 
So I'll try and replicate this, either way, today's message from One Day At A Time was about self pity. What I had typed earlier, before it got deleted, was that I heard this so many times but I wasn't not sure if I quite understand it. So what I did was look it up in Wikipedia and Wikipedia states that
Self-pity or "feeling sorry for oneself" is the psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it. It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence.
So anyway, I'm typing away in my blog about what I think it means and how it has to do with feeling sorry for oneself and I stated that I never really acknowledged that I felt sorry for myself but one way I could relate was stating why does this happen to me?...as I was typing the words "why does this happen to me" I literally gasped for air because I think I have it figured out. When someone says why does this happen to me, is that not feeling sorry for yourself? I think it is. I am a huge whiner. I say that because when I actually take the time to think about things, I usually end up concluding that I'm complaining about nothing and that whatever it is I'm complaining about isn't worth complaining about....so having said that, I always tell myself 'why does this happen to me' always ALWAYS..I just never associated it with feeling sorry for yourself. I generally feel as though I'm a great person to be around. The fact is though, many times I'm not. Being around someone who's mopey isn't a great person to be around. Another thing is that I don't put that much effort into making positive things happen, I usually just wait for them to happen. I think this is the main reason why I'm a whiner and why I feel sorry for myself. The other thing that lately I also conclude, is that this is a very serious problem. Very serious because I tried three times to commit suicide. Lke for so many years, I always thought about it, what would I do, how would i do it....but I tried to do it and I tell myself that I did do it and was successful. You see, as I had mentioned previously, I tried to contact my sponsor the other day. ALso, last week, I sent a message to one of my friends back in Jersey and I haven't heard back. I sent a message to another friend yesterday..and I have't heard back. What I'm trying to say is that I've been putting a lot of effort into contacting these people from my past, when what I should be doing is putting more effort into making new contacts. I didn't fucking move here to dwell on the past. I understand that my past is something that I'm always going to drag along, but what I'm trying to do is make it into a useful tool rather than a downer. Basically, when I tell myself that I was succesful in suicide, I[m trying to make myself realize that I"m not that person I was anymore. That person is gone.
So I'll try and replicate this, either way, today's message from One Day At A Time was about self pity. What I had typed earlier, before it got deleted, was that I heard this so many times but I wasn't not sure if I quite understand it. So what I did was look it up in Wikipedia and Wikipedia states that
Self-pity or "feeling sorry for oneself" is the psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence nor ability to cope with it. It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence.
So anyway, I'm typing away in my blog about what I think it means and how it has to do with feeling sorry for oneself and I stated that I never really acknowledged that I felt sorry for myself but one way I could relate was stating why does this happen to me?...as I was typing the words "why does this happen to me" I literally gasped for air because I think I have it figured out. When someone says why does this happen to me, is that not feeling sorry for yourself? I think it is. I am a huge whiner. I say that because when I actually take the time to think about things, I usually end up concluding that I'm complaining about nothing and that whatever it is I'm complaining about isn't worth complaining about....so having said that, I always tell myself 'why does this happen to me' always ALWAYS..I just never associated it with feeling sorry for yourself. I generally feel as though I'm a great person to be around. The fact is though, many times I'm not. Being around someone who's mopey isn't a great person to be around. Another thing is that I don't put that much effort into making positive things happen, I usually just wait for them to happen. I think this is the main reason why I'm a whiner and why I feel sorry for myself. The other thing that lately I also conclude, is that this is a very serious problem. Very serious because I tried three times to commit suicide. Lke for so many years, I always thought about it, what would I do, how would i do it....but I tried to do it and I tell myself that I did do it and was successful. You see, as I had mentioned previously, I tried to contact my sponsor the other day. ALso, last week, I sent a message to one of my friends back in Jersey and I haven't heard back. I sent a message to another friend yesterday..and I have't heard back. What I'm trying to say is that I've been putting a lot of effort into contacting these people from my past, when what I should be doing is putting more effort into making new contacts. I didn't fucking move here to dwell on the past. I understand that my past is something that I'm always going to drag along, but what I'm trying to do is make it into a useful tool rather than a downer. Basically, when I tell myself that I was succesful in suicide, I[m trying to make myself realize that I"m not that person I was anymore. That person is gone.