seriouskate

Do you ever not miss someone, but miss what they gave to you? I'm having these wierd instances of missing feelings I had with my ex, but not missing him. Is that normal?

Maybe I'm just nostalgic for a time and place where I felt like I was with it, at home and not a total wreck. I'm sure I'm painting the past with rosey colors right now. I missy having friends, though. I miss feeling something other than mediocre.

I guess that's what happens when you move almost a thousand miles away and put your grown up pants on. I don't want to go back to southern California, but I sure as hell miss the feelings of familiarity and safety. So many happy times and so many strictures.

Sometimes I just want to take off for New York and make my life there. This is totally unrealistic because I have no idea how I would get a job or live, but sometimes I feel like leaving everything behind and taking off for someplace on the Atlantic Coast. I have a Bachelor's Degree and quite a bit of professional experience. Maybe I could make it work.

A lot of the time I'm just not sure my heart is in it here.