So sick of waking up in the middle of the night. I feel bad because all I do in this journal is post bitchy one-liners. This entry is progress because I have complete sentences and I have typed more than two sentences.
I am finally startring to feel numb again, which for me, is good. Most of the time I feel like every nerve ending is on fire and I can't get enough space from the world. The only way for me to keep going is to keep moving.
For the past couple of hours though, I've finally started to feel nothing. I can sit still and just think. I don't know what happened there. Fuck, I'm afraid to write about it because I don't wan this emptiness to go away.
Usually I feel a hurricane is blowing thru my psyche ripping everything apart and an earthquake is somewhere in my id making sure I have nothing solid to hold onto. Now I don't feel anything at all. It's wonderful.
___________________________
all of my fears came true
black and blue and broken bones
you left me here i'm all alone
my little piggy needed something new
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i just don't care
hey pig
nothing's turning out the way i planned
hey pig
there's a lot of things i hoped you could help me understand
what am i supposed to do
lost my shit because of you
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i just don't care
-Trent Reznor
__________________________
Sorry about the lyrics edited. It's pretty pathetic I'm almost twenty-five and Reznor still expresses this particular sentiment better than I do.
****WARNING: MENTAL MASTURBATION AHEAD*****
I don't think the lyrics above got it quite right. He seems to be still bitter. I'm not. I just feel stupid. But I'm not even sure I care about that right now. I'm mostly enjoying not feeling shit.
I am finally startring to feel numb again, which for me, is good. Most of the time I feel like every nerve ending is on fire and I can't get enough space from the world. The only way for me to keep going is to keep moving.
For the past couple of hours though, I've finally started to feel nothing. I can sit still and just think. I don't know what happened there. Fuck, I'm afraid to write about it because I don't wan this emptiness to go away.
Usually I feel a hurricane is blowing thru my psyche ripping everything apart and an earthquake is somewhere in my id making sure I have nothing solid to hold onto. Now I don't feel anything at all. It's wonderful.
___________________________
all of my fears came true
black and blue and broken bones
you left me here i'm all alone
my little piggy needed something new
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i just don't care
hey pig
nothing's turning out the way i planned
hey pig
there's a lot of things i hoped you could help me understand
what am i supposed to do
lost my shit because of you
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care
nothing can stop me now
cause i don't care anymore
nothing can stop me now
cause i just don't care
-Trent Reznor
__________________________
Sorry about the lyrics edited. It's pretty pathetic I'm almost twenty-five and Reznor still expresses this particular sentiment better than I do.
****WARNING: MENTAL MASTURBATION AHEAD*****
I don't think the lyrics above got it quite right. He seems to be still bitter. I'm not. I just feel stupid. But I'm not even sure I care about that right now. I'm mostly enjoying not feeling shit.