I feel empty. Like a cardboard box. One that's been flattened and thrown away like so much trash. In between the sobs that spasm through my body, I can feel my heart giving up. And when I see you or hear your voice it feels like a soda can collasping under the pressure of a thousand oceans. I wish it would stop beating. I wish. The voices in my head that I often choose to ignore are becomming ever more suggestive, easier to hear and believe. I can feel thier words slither down and around my heart in a blanket of false promise, and god knows I am a sucker for promises.
Never ask someone if they will love you No-Matter-What. It's not fair. It's an unintentionall set up for failure. To some of us, No-Matter-What is real and it exists in our hearts (although it's just a misconception) and we think if we mean it, surely they must too? No. When you ask them to love you "No-Matter-What?", the response will always be "Of course." And they say that because it's the nice thing to say, not becasue they mean it. But you can't be angry with them. You are the one who held them so high, made them a god, gave away your heart. You did this to yourself.
No-Matter-What is the phrase 'Unconditional-Love' wrapped up in a less substaintiated and scary package. No-Matter-What deceptively lends a hand to possibility, where as Unconditional-Love is universely know as being unreal. We are not always what we appear to be, nor are we always what others depend on us to be. People change and so does thier ablility to love wholely, unselfishly, and No-Matter-What. Everyone has a right to that though. We all have our own uniquely defined reasons for feeling or not feeling a certain way.
And I can't be mad at you for it. I'm trying so hard not to be. You're doing what you feel is best for you, whether or not it's best for me. I respect that. I won't deny you your own truth. But what I am allowed to be heart wrenchingly torn apart by are broken promises. A false truth. Your unintentional lie. I faultingly believed you when you told me, "No-Matter-What."
Never ask someone if they will love you No-Matter-What. It's not fair. It's an unintentionall set up for failure. To some of us, No-Matter-What is real and it exists in our hearts (although it's just a misconception) and we think if we mean it, surely they must too? No. When you ask them to love you "No-Matter-What?", the response will always be "Of course." And they say that because it's the nice thing to say, not becasue they mean it. But you can't be angry with them. You are the one who held them so high, made them a god, gave away your heart. You did this to yourself.
No-Matter-What is the phrase 'Unconditional-Love' wrapped up in a less substaintiated and scary package. No-Matter-What deceptively lends a hand to possibility, where as Unconditional-Love is universely know as being unreal. We are not always what we appear to be, nor are we always what others depend on us to be. People change and so does thier ablility to love wholely, unselfishly, and No-Matter-What. Everyone has a right to that though. We all have our own uniquely defined reasons for feeling or not feeling a certain way.
And I can't be mad at you for it. I'm trying so hard not to be. You're doing what you feel is best for you, whether or not it's best for me. I respect that. I won't deny you your own truth. But what I am allowed to be heart wrenchingly torn apart by are broken promises. A false truth. Your unintentional lie. I faultingly believed you when you told me, "No-Matter-What."