For my girls in Women Over 30
I've been in the same town for 40 years save a couple of temp moves to Cali and Florida decades ago and my friendships go through cycles. I don't tend to settle for people who won't invest as much in friendships as I will. They are as important to me as family and intimate relationships. Well, I use the term intimate for lack of a better one because in all actuality all types of relationships can be intimate because that term doesn't just speak to sex really. But I digress.
Anywho, in the last couple of years I've literally had to start leaving people behind. I feed them with a long spoon and some are not even in the theater of my life let alone the balcony. People change and it isn't always for the better. Especially when you are dealing with the people that my friendship circles tend to come from like ummmmm...AA. Sometimes people don't stay sober but what's worse is that picking up the drink/drug is the last stop of relapse. It all starts with dishonest behaviour and becoming distant and losing integrity. Like not being where you say you will be or keeping you word, etc.
It's been very painful (I'm actually ok now with it but it took a long time to heal) but I have to take care of me. You get what you settle for and I don't tend to be one who will settle. We teach people how to treat us and people know that I won't deal with liars and theives and insane behaviours. Nada!
All that to say, and I am spoilering this since this isn't the right thread for it, that even in my own hometown where I literally know hundreds of people I don't have many friends at all. My days consist mostly of work, going to meetings (which happens to be a social event for me), and being at home watching my shows, reading, playing here, or cleaning and obsessing about my house/yard. I'm ok with it for now.
The only thing that never stays the same is change and this phase of my life will change again and I'll get active again with new people and some of the decades long friends will get their shit together and we can rebuild over time. Few have done anything to actually hurt me directly, thank God so its just been a matter of Live and Let Live so they can pursue their insantiy and staying clear of it myself. The others, the ones who have hurt me viciously and there have been a handful, well, they are drug adled again because you tend to reap what you sow in life and karma is a mother fucker. I just pray for them and hope they live though their shit but I doubt that any of those few will ever be back in my life beyond a "Hey, how ya doing." then moving along.
Anywho, when we get a little conversation like this going it tends to strike reaction in me and a need to share because relationships are important. Just think, maybe you personal Higher Power has a great, grow old together friend or 3 down the line and the people you have been trying to get with aren't them and the ol' HP doesn't want you hurt by them so it just isn't happening with them.
My perspective anyhow.
And a totally unrelated classic for my friends who appreciate fine art and can recite these word for word like myself:
I've been in the same town for 40 years save a couple of temp moves to Cali and Florida decades ago and my friendships go through cycles. I don't tend to settle for people who won't invest as much in friendships as I will. They are as important to me as family and intimate relationships. Well, I use the term intimate for lack of a better one because in all actuality all types of relationships can be intimate because that term doesn't just speak to sex really. But I digress.
Anywho, in the last couple of years I've literally had to start leaving people behind. I feed them with a long spoon and some are not even in the theater of my life let alone the balcony. People change and it isn't always for the better. Especially when you are dealing with the people that my friendship circles tend to come from like ummmmm...AA. Sometimes people don't stay sober but what's worse is that picking up the drink/drug is the last stop of relapse. It all starts with dishonest behaviour and becoming distant and losing integrity. Like not being where you say you will be or keeping you word, etc.
It's been very painful (I'm actually ok now with it but it took a long time to heal) but I have to take care of me. You get what you settle for and I don't tend to be one who will settle. We teach people how to treat us and people know that I won't deal with liars and theives and insane behaviours. Nada!
All that to say, and I am spoilering this since this isn't the right thread for it, that even in my own hometown where I literally know hundreds of people I don't have many friends at all. My days consist mostly of work, going to meetings (which happens to be a social event for me), and being at home watching my shows, reading, playing here, or cleaning and obsessing about my house/yard. I'm ok with it for now.
The only thing that never stays the same is change and this phase of my life will change again and I'll get active again with new people and some of the decades long friends will get their shit together and we can rebuild over time. Few have done anything to actually hurt me directly, thank God so its just been a matter of Live and Let Live so they can pursue their insantiy and staying clear of it myself. The others, the ones who have hurt me viciously and there have been a handful, well, they are drug adled again because you tend to reap what you sow in life and karma is a mother fucker. I just pray for them and hope they live though their shit but I doubt that any of those few will ever be back in my life beyond a "Hey, how ya doing." then moving along.
Anywho, when we get a little conversation like this going it tends to strike reaction in me and a need to share because relationships are important. Just think, maybe you personal Higher Power has a great, grow old together friend or 3 down the line and the people you have been trying to get with aren't them and the ol' HP doesn't want you hurt by them so it just isn't happening with them.
My perspective anyhow.
And a totally unrelated classic for my friends who appreciate fine art and can recite these word for word like myself:
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
sondawg is a natural picker.
dick cheney is the anti christ. i mean c'mon.