So, I have been sort of avoiding this for a couple of days, but WTF?
2nd birth mother I was dealing with backed out... I had felt a couple of weeks ago that she might and I was okay with that because the realities of parenting have recently become clear to me watching my brother with our newest family addition. Then I get a phone call on Thursday from an OBGYN in Florida that a girl was born that morning and did I want her. I said yes... called my lawyer, etc..... before thinking of the reality of it. After all, just over the last 2 weeks, I had been thinking that single motherhood may not be the thing for me right now. So, I left work super early, went to my mom's and talked to some friends about their parenting experieces. In the end, my mom nailed it.... "You just spent the last hour telling me 20-30 reasons why this isn't a good time for you and you haven't mentioned one good reason." So, with a heavy heart, I decided not to adopt the baby.It wouldn't be fair because I'm not emotionally available enough right now and as much as I want kids one day, I think I need to spend a year playing aunt to see the actualities of it and reassess one day in a year or so.
It's actually good it happened this way because I was forced to make this decision rather than thinking it wasn't fated right now. It would have been too easy to blame things on fate.... this was a conscious choice on my part.... although not an easy one. Still, it feels good having made the choice and feeling okay with my decision.
On the upside.... things with the new guy are going well. My brother and sister in law came over for dinner last night to meet him and it went well. I always over analyze things like this and end up fucking things up yet I am so comfortable with him and I enjoy being with him so much that I haven't done that.
Hope everyone is having/has had a great weekend!
Kisses
2nd birth mother I was dealing with backed out... I had felt a couple of weeks ago that she might and I was okay with that because the realities of parenting have recently become clear to me watching my brother with our newest family addition. Then I get a phone call on Thursday from an OBGYN in Florida that a girl was born that morning and did I want her. I said yes... called my lawyer, etc..... before thinking of the reality of it. After all, just over the last 2 weeks, I had been thinking that single motherhood may not be the thing for me right now. So, I left work super early, went to my mom's and talked to some friends about their parenting experieces. In the end, my mom nailed it.... "You just spent the last hour telling me 20-30 reasons why this isn't a good time for you and you haven't mentioned one good reason." So, with a heavy heart, I decided not to adopt the baby.It wouldn't be fair because I'm not emotionally available enough right now and as much as I want kids one day, I think I need to spend a year playing aunt to see the actualities of it and reassess one day in a year or so.
It's actually good it happened this way because I was forced to make this decision rather than thinking it wasn't fated right now. It would have been too easy to blame things on fate.... this was a conscious choice on my part.... although not an easy one. Still, it feels good having made the choice and feeling okay with my decision.
On the upside.... things with the new guy are going well. My brother and sister in law came over for dinner last night to meet him and it went well. I always over analyze things like this and end up fucking things up yet I am so comfortable with him and I enjoy being with him so much that I haven't done that.
Hope everyone is having/has had a great weekend!
Kisses
And when the time is right, and your really ready for a child, it'll make it even that much more special. You don't want to rush into these things if your not 100 % sure your ready.
I'm glad things are going good with Andrew. He's starting to show his dark side?
The rest of the weekend was OK. Spent it with my family(as usual) and on the computer. Did lay out by the pool for a while. It's hot and sunny here, finally.
Thank you and take care.