I saw "Random Hearts" tonight for the second time (w/ Harrison Ford. I don't remember the female actress' name). The first time I saw it was a year + ago, and I thought it stunk. This time, I really liked it.
The first time I saw it was with my ex-girlfriend, and we both agreed that it was long and dull, and perhaps the director thought he was being "artistic", but only succeeded in pacing poorly. This time, my father, who no one would ever mistake for a romantic, agreed that it was a good and moving piece.
I figure I must not have given the movie a chance because I was too heavily influenced by her feelings/attitudes/beliefs because I really liked it this time. There you go; there is my self-analysis.
I liked the movie, but is was depressing. Like "Shawshank Redemption", which is a favorite of mine, but admittedly a depressing mood-killer. I've been missing my ex awfully bad, but wondering how much I miss her and how much I miss having an intimate being sharing my life, my bed, breakfast, a movie, the couch.
I chickened out with the girl from school and didn't do the "direct approach" blow-off like I said I would. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, blah, blah, blah. Instead, she made it pretty darn clear that she was interested in me. Perfect time to tell her I wasn't and sound the least hurtful. Still, although I know I could have her sharing my bed and my breakfast/couch/etc., she would hardly be an intimate. Sex would be sex.
I'm not against casual sex. Tonight I thought that friends really could have casual sex and remain "just friends". I used to think the best girlfriends would be those you thought of as friends first, so you could get along perfectly and share hobbies, etc., but my ex and I were not great friends b4 we met and had few common hobbies. We were great together. Our bond was that of intimates: the type of person you can tell anything to without humiliation and gain support from. My hobbies - Computer games, RPG's (especially Vampire: The Masquerade), and such - were things I did with friends, while she talked photography and art with her friends. She was so much more than a friend to me.
I have other friends who I considered more than friends. Intimates. I realize now that I could easily spend the night with one of them without hurting our relationship. I'd like nothing more right now than to hold one of them in particular, "S" from Greensboro, in my arms on my pillow as I drift of to sleep tonight. She would understand me and appreciate the situation without making too much of it. Casual sex would be just that: two people who understand each other's happiness and sadness and needs, gratifying each other by sharing the most intimate of moments together. Someone to help me when I feel this lonely and depressed. When we met again in public, we could give loving hugs and smiles, but never have any thoughts of moving in together or necessarily "doing it" again, let alone marriage or kids or any of the shit that goes with "relationships".
I don't just want someone to fill the title of girlfriend or lover, so this girl at school is out of the question. Sex would not be casual sex, it would be pointless and unsatisfying no matter how good she was. I need a real girlfriend, but I would like a really, really close friend even more, for sex or less.
Still taking applications.
P.S. Unfortunetly, I know how some people think. This should go without saying, but I'm not going to take offers of friendship the wrong way and assume you all want sex too. Please comment.
The first time I saw it was with my ex-girlfriend, and we both agreed that it was long and dull, and perhaps the director thought he was being "artistic", but only succeeded in pacing poorly. This time, my father, who no one would ever mistake for a romantic, agreed that it was a good and moving piece.
I figure I must not have given the movie a chance because I was too heavily influenced by her feelings/attitudes/beliefs because I really liked it this time. There you go; there is my self-analysis.
I liked the movie, but is was depressing. Like "Shawshank Redemption", which is a favorite of mine, but admittedly a depressing mood-killer. I've been missing my ex awfully bad, but wondering how much I miss her and how much I miss having an intimate being sharing my life, my bed, breakfast, a movie, the couch.
I chickened out with the girl from school and didn't do the "direct approach" blow-off like I said I would. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, blah, blah, blah. Instead, she made it pretty darn clear that she was interested in me. Perfect time to tell her I wasn't and sound the least hurtful. Still, although I know I could have her sharing my bed and my breakfast/couch/etc., she would hardly be an intimate. Sex would be sex.
I'm not against casual sex. Tonight I thought that friends really could have casual sex and remain "just friends". I used to think the best girlfriends would be those you thought of as friends first, so you could get along perfectly and share hobbies, etc., but my ex and I were not great friends b4 we met and had few common hobbies. We were great together. Our bond was that of intimates: the type of person you can tell anything to without humiliation and gain support from. My hobbies - Computer games, RPG's (especially Vampire: The Masquerade), and such - were things I did with friends, while she talked photography and art with her friends. She was so much more than a friend to me.
I have other friends who I considered more than friends. Intimates. I realize now that I could easily spend the night with one of them without hurting our relationship. I'd like nothing more right now than to hold one of them in particular, "S" from Greensboro, in my arms on my pillow as I drift of to sleep tonight. She would understand me and appreciate the situation without making too much of it. Casual sex would be just that: two people who understand each other's happiness and sadness and needs, gratifying each other by sharing the most intimate of moments together. Someone to help me when I feel this lonely and depressed. When we met again in public, we could give loving hugs and smiles, but never have any thoughts of moving in together or necessarily "doing it" again, let alone marriage or kids or any of the shit that goes with "relationships".
I don't just want someone to fill the title of girlfriend or lover, so this girl at school is out of the question. Sex would not be casual sex, it would be pointless and unsatisfying no matter how good she was. I need a real girlfriend, but I would like a really, really close friend even more, for sex or less.
Still taking applications.
P.S. Unfortunetly, I know how some people think. This should go without saying, but I'm not going to take offers of friendship the wrong way and assume you all want sex too. Please comment.