An update is long overdue:
"E" and I are broken up.
She has this horrible and shocking problem that she has recently developed, but I am unfortunetly sworn to secrecy. 
The day I learned of it, she said she prefers to deal with her problems on her own and doesn't like to lean on her friends, etc. I usually dissagree, prefering to seek comfort among my friends, but then, it is none of my business.
Shortly after this, she called and left a message on my voicemail saying we shouldn't see each other anymore. Did she coincidently decide to break up after finding out about this horrible problem? Nah, doubt it. I think she is either feeling bad about herself and trying to spare me the grief of having to deal with a girlfriend with such a problem, or simply doesn't want to have to deal with the "responsibilities" lovers have towards each other.
Responsibilities? yeah, you know. For instance: you can't go a whole week without communicating at least once, or refuse, for weeks on end, to get together and hang out, etc. Lovers have a responsibility to see each other occassionally, but sometimes occassionally is too often. I'm not criticizing because I can understand this outlook perfectly. Relationships take effort and sometimes you just feel too tired and miserable to go out and try to have fun. I think she wants to be miserable for awhile and can't tolerate kisses and hugs, or good conversation with a friend. Conversing with friends requires that you listen to what they say and come up with your own comments once in a while, and this easy task is difficult when your mind is preoccupied with visions of death and despair. In it hard to have fun when you are miserable.
I, on the otherhand, find that distracting myself with fun, even if I don't participate, works pretty well. I hate dwelling on misery and stressing out over things I can't change (although I do like ranting about them, obviously). I think E wants to be miserable for awhile and that means not being responsible for failing to talk to her friends (esp. a boyfriend) every other day. She just wants some time. I am hoping she will grow tired of depression and realize all her friends still love her and want her in their lives.
Having said all that, forgive me for being insensitive in that I don't want to get back with E. I loved being with her, but could have done all of that with a casual friend instead. That's what she was. She has never been enthusiastic about me romantically or particularly excited at the prospect of seeing me. I think I was the rebound guy, which is fine, because I now realize she was the rebound girl. It worked out great, and now, we should be friends. I'm just worried that she will shut me out because she's afraid of drama between us. I genuinely liked E because she is fun to be with, and that won't change when I start dating Quinne (everyone has to dream).
I'd like to start a campaign with her friends to break her out of her funk, especially if she is just trying to spare me the pain of losing her later, but I think she will latch onto her despair like a starving man on a pastry. She will resent us and distance herself further from her friends.
So, why am I ranting about this? Because there is nothing for me to do. The best action for me is probably to do nothing. Instead, I'll probably call her and tell her voicemail I care, because she is screening. People who like being alone need to limit how many friends they have, and I think that is why she broke up with me.
And so, I am back on the market. In fact, despite being with "E" all this time, I never really took myself off the market. I think I knew all along we were not ever going to be an issue for long. So, write me an e-mail the next time you are lonely in Charlotte, or in NC in general. I will be very lonely this Christmas so that would be a great time to take advantage of me, hint, hint.
P.S. The Profile pic to the left is from Activision's "Vampire: the Masquerade - Redemption". Old game, but possibly better than the new bloodlines game from last year.
"E" and I are broken up.
She has this horrible and shocking problem that she has recently developed, but I am unfortunetly sworn to secrecy. The day I learned of it, she said she prefers to deal with her problems on her own and doesn't like to lean on her friends, etc. I usually dissagree, prefering to seek comfort among my friends, but then, it is none of my business.
Shortly after this, she called and left a message on my voicemail saying we shouldn't see each other anymore. Did she coincidently decide to break up after finding out about this horrible problem? Nah, doubt it. I think she is either feeling bad about herself and trying to spare me the grief of having to deal with a girlfriend with such a problem, or simply doesn't want to have to deal with the "responsibilities" lovers have towards each other.
Responsibilities? yeah, you know. For instance: you can't go a whole week without communicating at least once, or refuse, for weeks on end, to get together and hang out, etc. Lovers have a responsibility to see each other occassionally, but sometimes occassionally is too often. I'm not criticizing because I can understand this outlook perfectly. Relationships take effort and sometimes you just feel too tired and miserable to go out and try to have fun. I think she wants to be miserable for awhile and can't tolerate kisses and hugs, or good conversation with a friend. Conversing with friends requires that you listen to what they say and come up with your own comments once in a while, and this easy task is difficult when your mind is preoccupied with visions of death and despair. In it hard to have fun when you are miserable.
I, on the otherhand, find that distracting myself with fun, even if I don't participate, works pretty well. I hate dwelling on misery and stressing out over things I can't change (although I do like ranting about them, obviously). I think E wants to be miserable for awhile and that means not being responsible for failing to talk to her friends (esp. a boyfriend) every other day. She just wants some time. I am hoping she will grow tired of depression and realize all her friends still love her and want her in their lives.
Having said all that, forgive me for being insensitive in that I don't want to get back with E. I loved being with her, but could have done all of that with a casual friend instead. That's what she was. She has never been enthusiastic about me romantically or particularly excited at the prospect of seeing me. I think I was the rebound guy, which is fine, because I now realize she was the rebound girl. It worked out great, and now, we should be friends. I'm just worried that she will shut me out because she's afraid of drama between us. I genuinely liked E because she is fun to be with, and that won't change when I start dating Quinne (everyone has to dream).
I'd like to start a campaign with her friends to break her out of her funk, especially if she is just trying to spare me the pain of losing her later, but I think she will latch onto her despair like a starving man on a pastry. She will resent us and distance herself further from her friends.
So, why am I ranting about this? Because there is nothing for me to do. The best action for me is probably to do nothing. Instead, I'll probably call her and tell her voicemail I care, because she is screening. People who like being alone need to limit how many friends they have, and I think that is why she broke up with me.
And so, I am back on the market. In fact, despite being with "E" all this time, I never really took myself off the market. I think I knew all along we were not ever going to be an issue for long. So, write me an e-mail the next time you are lonely in Charlotte, or in NC in general. I will be very lonely this Christmas so that would be a great time to take advantage of me, hint, hint.
P.S. The Profile pic to the left is from Activision's "Vampire: the Masquerade - Redemption". Old game, but possibly better than the new bloodlines game from last year.