seneca

I have to keep reminding myself that I only have 42 days left and that I wont be like this forever, but it seems like there is no end.
I get winded so easily now, hell I got winded just getting out of bed today.
I have people tell me that because of my size I look like I should be further along than I am. I'm told that the baby will do most of his growing in the last month, which I'm about to enter. So I'm a bit worried about how big I'm really going to get.
My mom believes that my actual due date is May 23rd, not June 6th, which is when the nurse that did my ultra sound said I'd be due.
My Doctor hasn't said anything about my size though, so it's probably nothing.
I have a few more Photoshoots coming up next month and I'll probably be doing at least 1 before the end of this month.
It's strange how many people want photograph a pregnant woman.

I've also been pretty insecure lately, about my body and how it will look after the baby's born. I have alot of stretch marks now... and my boobs did get alot bigger and I'm afraid they'll only get bigger when he's born. After breast feeding they're supposed to shrink back down, and I'm afraid that I'm going to have really gross saggy boobs. And when the baby's born, I'm going to have all this extra flesh... does that go away, and what about my stretch marks, those aren't attractive no matter who you are.
I have all these ideas for SG PhotoShoots that I want to do, but I'm not gonna want to model nude if my body looks a flabbly, saggy and gross.

I've always had self esteem issues, and all then sudden changes and worries aren't helping me right now.


Oh and on a lighter note.
I did a couple of sketches the other day that I'm pretty proud of... I'll post them as soon as I get them scanned.

(Here are the Sketches)

xoxo,