self1sh

hey

i'm leaving at the end of the month.

bye

rage against the machine - sleep now in the fire
system of a down - p.l.u.c.k.
smashing pumpkins - ugly
cibo matto - artichoke
perfect circle - gravity
**************************************************

Or maybe its that i realised that it is true;
No-ones really there fighting for you in the last garison.
No-one except yourself that is, no-one except you.
You are the one who's got your back...
Read More

ryan adams - so alive
delta 9 - revolution 9o9
chantel krevaziak - from me
In flames - evil in the closet
ani difranco - sunday morning
Dj Irene - Entire house half of her latest album

*********************************************************

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame...
Read More

starting a new thing::

playlist of the day: 10/06/05



GrandDaddy - Pull the Curtains
Ryan Adams - Wonderwall (cover)
Soul Coughing - SuperBonBon
Sia - Breathe Me
Pendulum - Coma
Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism

*********************************************************
To all my killers and my hundred dollar billers
To emo kids that got too many feelings

He held the register open while he counted her change
I...
Read More

I can feel it boiling up.. I can feel it getting ready to explode again...

He take shit for so long from so many people.

He never talks back.

He'll do whatever you ask of him, no questions ask.

He'll laugh at your jokes
but inside

he's actually going crazy.. the way he looks at the world just doesn't make sense

he can't say it...
Read More

I wrote this a LONG time ago.. it's either wonderful or disgusting how much hope i had..
***********************************************************


If this was how it was then this was how it was. But there was no law
that
>made him say he liked it. I did not know that I could ever feel what I
have
>felt, he thought. Nor that this could happen to me. I...
Read More

and god moves over the waters
silently coming for me
all my indiscretions
all my fears
just one giant wave

and the tremolo of emotions
all the high notes bent to low
always something wrong
never anything warm

why does the preemptive strike of her
melt me to my true being
with all my sought after pain
drown out by a laugh

and the madness...
Read More

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year that...
Read More

feelings ARE a strange thing.. it's hard to quell the feelings you have for one person when you're "supposed" to only love another person.. i'm not sure if the world would be a better or worse place if we were all honest about our feelings...

on one hand.. we'd be completely satisfied, because we would always be doing what made us happy

on the other...
Read More

.

so history repeats itself........

i seem to have this problem ./....

i have a lot of friends that don't have much money, and often they ask to borrow some, promising to pay it back at a certain time....

well, over the past year, i've lent 3200 to my friends in their time of need.. and guess what... they either never return my calls again, or...
Read More

so the question i've been asking myself lately, half trying to deal w/ all my regret, half trying to figure out how to live my life, is this:

instant gratification vs. long term happiness

and what i've come up w/ is this... i think i need to establish some sort of long term parameters that i know will keep me on the path to happiness...
Read More