I just wrote a huge entry and my stupid computer deleted it.
Fucks sake.
Update on the situation - we had a good talk the other day and sorted out a lot of things. We're getting on well as friends which is all I can do at the minute. He told me the main reason of why he is doing this - he says he's scared. Basically, this is the first proper serious relationship either of us have been in, and even though neither of us regret a single second of it, he's scared of where it's going or what's happening. He said because he's moving to uni soon (not even far - like a 20 minute bus trip) he doesn't want to see me get hurt. He says he's scared because he doesn't know what to do, basically either the relationship steps up to the next level and we move on and grow together.... or he pushes me away - which is what he's doing.
But, like I said - we're getting on ok and talking ok, but it's still killing me. I won't see him at work til next monday now so at least I've got time away to sort myself out. At least I understand a bit better why he's doing this now.... it still hurts like fucking hell though.
He says he's missing me so much but he needs to do this to clear his head. I dunno. I love him more than anything in the goddamn world and all I want is to be with him. I don't care how long it takes I'm going to wait for him and I'm never going to stop loving him.
I've decided that I'm going to take this time to sort myself out and start by finding a new job....so the hunt begins. Also, seeing as all my college mates moved away to uni I'm going to get out and make myself some new ones. It'll be hard I know, and to be honest I have no idea where to start but it's something I know I need to change. I need to find out who I am as an individual not just as part of a couple.
I've got the week off work starting Sunday 11th June and I'm going up to see my best friend in Newcastle before she comes back for the hols. Anyone in Newcastle or neaby drop me a message...
I miss him so much
Fucks sake.
Update on the situation - we had a good talk the other day and sorted out a lot of things. We're getting on well as friends which is all I can do at the minute. He told me the main reason of why he is doing this - he says he's scared. Basically, this is the first proper serious relationship either of us have been in, and even though neither of us regret a single second of it, he's scared of where it's going or what's happening. He said because he's moving to uni soon (not even far - like a 20 minute bus trip) he doesn't want to see me get hurt. He says he's scared because he doesn't know what to do, basically either the relationship steps up to the next level and we move on and grow together.... or he pushes me away - which is what he's doing.
But, like I said - we're getting on ok and talking ok, but it's still killing me. I won't see him at work til next monday now so at least I've got time away to sort myself out. At least I understand a bit better why he's doing this now.... it still hurts like fucking hell though.
He says he's missing me so much but he needs to do this to clear his head. I dunno. I love him more than anything in the goddamn world and all I want is to be with him. I don't care how long it takes I'm going to wait for him and I'm never going to stop loving him.
I've decided that I'm going to take this time to sort myself out and start by finding a new job....so the hunt begins. Also, seeing as all my college mates moved away to uni I'm going to get out and make myself some new ones. It'll be hard I know, and to be honest I have no idea where to start but it's something I know I need to change. I need to find out who I am as an individual not just as part of a couple.
I've got the week off work starting Sunday 11th June and I'm going up to see my best friend in Newcastle before she comes back for the hols. Anyone in Newcastle or neaby drop me a message...
I miss him so much