Someone tonight asked me what I wanted that I did not have. Basically if he could work a miracle, what would it be that I wanted. I was dumbstruck and couldn't think of or refused to verbalize what it is that I really want. I really don't know if it's because I don't know.... or if it's because I'm afraid to say what it is that I want. I think it's the foremost of the two, but I can' t be certain. I have this awful feeling that if I say what I truly want, that it will be jinxed.... because it always has been for as long as I can remember. However... what I want has changed tremendously over the past few months.
Confused yet???? I sure the hell am.
Confused yet???? I sure the hell am.

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Mark just got home from LA today and wants to see me later so I'll call you in a little bit (I'm going to help my brother move right now) and see what time you want to go to Fibber's. Mark can wait until we're done bonding. I wanna see my girl first.