man, real life is just kicking my ass. but since two of the sexiest women around (Wendy and nobunnies) wrote this survey, the least I can do is take it.
1. As *nsync would say, God must have spent a little more time on you. What, exactly, did God spend more time on?
Probably my brain. Or my breasts.
2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protesters do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?
I'd start a war against religion, because those always turn out so well. And the protesters would set themselves on fire and try to tell me that God was on their side and I would laugh at them and declare myself a bad ass new god.
3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?
Drew Barrymore would play me, whatever ingenue sweet young thing who was up-and-coming in Hollywood would play my girlfriend.
4. What flavor of diet coke do you next want?
cinnamon (Keeping nobunnies's answer because OMGYES)
5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.
<insert rant about Aeon Flux cartoon vs. "film">
6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?
Hmmm, tough question. I'm so very fond of all of the above, I think I'd still be bi.
7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?
Honestly, probably very very quietly in the middle of an aerobics class or something. I mean, I know I've farted in public, but that was probably the most recent/frequent story.
8. Tell one crazy I cant believe how drunk I was story.
Once I got soooo wasted with my best friend and an ex-girlfriend while we were yuppy bar-hopping and we eventually stopped for pizza, where I apparently told my best friend I'd never considered her "gay enough" until she started dating someone with a vulva (which is 100% a direct quote from one of the bitchy art lesbians in that episode of Sex & the City, and I have no idea why I said it since I've never thought that) and then I came home at 4:30 in the morning and was met ON THE FRONT LAWN by my mother in a bathrobe because I'd neglected to call and tell her where I was or when I was coming home (oops), and she yelled at me through the entire house until I got to the bathroom, where I tried to tell her I wasn't drunk, but I slipped and fell into the counter (WHILE STANDING STILL) in the middle of my sentence, which didn't really sell the point. The hangover was terrible, too.
9. Ideal Christmas stocking?
A Roomba and gift certificates. (I've been living off gift certificates since Christmas Day.)
10. Who is Britney Spears soul mate?
The Las Vegas County Marriage Annullment Court.
11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?
The Ugly American.
12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.
237, not even kidding. Although it was fully clothed at the doctor's office, and we all know how messed up those scales are.
13. Ever puked and run?
I have never puked and run. Although I did once puke into my friend's purse at a club. Fortunately, it was pretty much all gin.
14. Tell one "too tired to finish masturbating" story.
I'm never too tired, but I have often given up because it's just never going to happen. Stupid Zoloft. Stupid weird lack-of-sex-drive.
15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.
1) I've had sex with over 30 men.
2) I used to play doctor with the girl next door.
3) I don't like being naked.
4) I think men take their penises too seriously and have been known to use them as impromptu microphones (the penises, not the men).
16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture (just to make us smile).
OMGSOFUCKINGCUTE
17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?
I make a fierce omelette. And chocolate cake. So...I guess that? Honestly, I'd get take-out and not even try very hard to pass it off as mine.
18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?
I Hate You.
19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?
Fucking shit YES.
20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?
I would, if only to get helpful tips.
21. Whats your favorite animal? show us.
Christopher, OMG I MISS HIM TO A VERY LAME DEGREE.
22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?
I would probably be purple, because it is both warm and cold, it irritates everyone and yet everyone probably has worn some shade of it at some point.
23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.
Domination, dancing, dirty talk...things that start with D, I guess?
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal'?
Ten.
25. Why are ball gags sexy?
I don't really know that they are. Personally, that kink was eradicated via Pulp Fiction.
26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?
There's no efficient way to get only a few cubes out of the tray, and that pisses me off.
27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?
I've bruised nobunnies rather impressively a few times...once during an orgy, a friend of mine put a cigarette out on a guy's ass, and even though I didn't do it and it wasn't done to me, it's still my favorite sex-injury story ever.
28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, youre a fucking whore.
Someone I could really talk to, because that will lead to fantastic sex.
29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?
That I was deluding myself.
30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner?
I do but we're going to change that soon, RIGHT?
1. As *nsync would say, God must have spent a little more time on you. What, exactly, did God spend more time on?
Probably my brain. Or my breasts.
2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protesters do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?
I'd start a war against religion, because those always turn out so well. And the protesters would set themselves on fire and try to tell me that God was on their side and I would laugh at them and declare myself a bad ass new god.
3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?
Drew Barrymore would play me, whatever ingenue sweet young thing who was up-and-coming in Hollywood would play my girlfriend.
4. What flavor of diet coke do you next want?
cinnamon (Keeping nobunnies's answer because OMGYES)
5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.
<insert rant about Aeon Flux cartoon vs. "film">
6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?
Hmmm, tough question. I'm so very fond of all of the above, I think I'd still be bi.
7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?
Honestly, probably very very quietly in the middle of an aerobics class or something. I mean, I know I've farted in public, but that was probably the most recent/frequent story.
8. Tell one crazy I cant believe how drunk I was story.
Once I got soooo wasted with my best friend and an ex-girlfriend while we were yuppy bar-hopping and we eventually stopped for pizza, where I apparently told my best friend I'd never considered her "gay enough" until she started dating someone with a vulva (which is 100% a direct quote from one of the bitchy art lesbians in that episode of Sex & the City, and I have no idea why I said it since I've never thought that) and then I came home at 4:30 in the morning and was met ON THE FRONT LAWN by my mother in a bathrobe because I'd neglected to call and tell her where I was or when I was coming home (oops), and she yelled at me through the entire house until I got to the bathroom, where I tried to tell her I wasn't drunk, but I slipped and fell into the counter (WHILE STANDING STILL) in the middle of my sentence, which didn't really sell the point. The hangover was terrible, too.
9. Ideal Christmas stocking?
A Roomba and gift certificates. (I've been living off gift certificates since Christmas Day.)
10. Who is Britney Spears soul mate?
The Las Vegas County Marriage Annullment Court.
11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?
The Ugly American.
12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.
237, not even kidding. Although it was fully clothed at the doctor's office, and we all know how messed up those scales are.
13. Ever puked and run?
I have never puked and run. Although I did once puke into my friend's purse at a club. Fortunately, it was pretty much all gin.
14. Tell one "too tired to finish masturbating" story.
I'm never too tired, but I have often given up because it's just never going to happen. Stupid Zoloft. Stupid weird lack-of-sex-drive.
15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.
1) I've had sex with over 30 men.
2) I used to play doctor with the girl next door.
3) I don't like being naked.
4) I think men take their penises too seriously and have been known to use them as impromptu microphones (the penises, not the men).
16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture (just to make us smile).
OMGSOFUCKINGCUTE
17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?
I make a fierce omelette. And chocolate cake. So...I guess that? Honestly, I'd get take-out and not even try very hard to pass it off as mine.
18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?
I Hate You.
19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?
Fucking shit YES.
20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?
I would, if only to get helpful tips.
21. Whats your favorite animal? show us.
Christopher, OMG I MISS HIM TO A VERY LAME DEGREE.
22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?
I would probably be purple, because it is both warm and cold, it irritates everyone and yet everyone probably has worn some shade of it at some point.
23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.
Domination, dancing, dirty talk...things that start with D, I guess?
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal'?
Ten.
25. Why are ball gags sexy?
I don't really know that they are. Personally, that kink was eradicated via Pulp Fiction.
26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?
There's no efficient way to get only a few cubes out of the tray, and that pisses me off.
27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?
I've bruised nobunnies rather impressively a few times...once during an orgy, a friend of mine put a cigarette out on a guy's ass, and even though I didn't do it and it wasn't done to me, it's still my favorite sex-injury story ever.
28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, youre a fucking whore.
Someone I could really talk to, because that will lead to fantastic sex.
29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?
That I was deluding myself.
30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner?
I do but we're going to change that soon, RIGHT?
nobunnies:
right 