man is the weather shitty today...i
haven't had a lot to say in these things because
1. who reads them really...? i know only a handful of people on the site
2. where do you even start?
my favorite entries to read are always the long rambling fuckers that read like a short story but ultimately have some point...i have no point that i am aware of...at least in these things...i keep a sketchbook, but i am even reticent to write in those much anymore because i lost 2 of them (full ones, too) in my "marrital difficulties" of last year...and it may not seem like a big deal to lose a sketchbook...but any artist will tell you that it is like losing mos. and mos. of research...it's like like a scientist having their research wiped out and having to start all over...(it was funny, i was reading craigslist the other day and some clown mis-spelled "marrital" as "martial"...that's a freudian slip for you right there)...and losing a book that has mos. of images, thoughts, ideas, etc, it is not "cleansing", you are not free to "try something new"...it is not "liberating", it sucks...anyway...where do the thoughts go? unless you record them in some fashion, they are gone...every breakthrough, every realization, every epiphany...lost...and in the buhddist sense i understand it...it is all fleeting anyway, why try to hold on? "mono no aware" and such...i remember doing research for my sleeve of flower tattoos and i was reading a book on japanese tattooing and they were talking about the impetus for some of the imagery, and the cherry blossoms were significant because they referenced a nostalgia for the present moment, a knowledge, appreciation, and melancholy for the moment that we currently are living and is slipping away from us as i write...but for me, if i don't record it somewhere, it's gone and i want some record...i always liked the idea of proust or kerouac writing enormous legends of their lives...that their books were one enormous narrative...that a story is a cumulative process, it is all important...i feel that way about art making...my favorites are the ones where you can look at the work and see the process...kai althoff, raymond pettibon, etc...anyway...i have been avoiding work long enough for today...i need to find another job...i am so bored...i need to get back into teaching...i hate reports and cubicles and sales (we actually have something called TPS report, no shit)...all i want to do is make work, listen to music, hang out, teach, talk about ideas and music and culture...fuck...i'm done.
haven't had a lot to say in these things because
1. who reads them really...? i know only a handful of people on the site
2. where do you even start?
my favorite entries to read are always the long rambling fuckers that read like a short story but ultimately have some point...i have no point that i am aware of...at least in these things...i keep a sketchbook, but i am even reticent to write in those much anymore because i lost 2 of them (full ones, too) in my "marrital difficulties" of last year...and it may not seem like a big deal to lose a sketchbook...but any artist will tell you that it is like losing mos. and mos. of research...it's like like a scientist having their research wiped out and having to start all over...(it was funny, i was reading craigslist the other day and some clown mis-spelled "marrital" as "martial"...that's a freudian slip for you right there)...and losing a book that has mos. of images, thoughts, ideas, etc, it is not "cleansing", you are not free to "try something new"...it is not "liberating", it sucks...anyway...where do the thoughts go? unless you record them in some fashion, they are gone...every breakthrough, every realization, every epiphany...lost...and in the buhddist sense i understand it...it is all fleeting anyway, why try to hold on? "mono no aware" and such...i remember doing research for my sleeve of flower tattoos and i was reading a book on japanese tattooing and they were talking about the impetus for some of the imagery, and the cherry blossoms were significant because they referenced a nostalgia for the present moment, a knowledge, appreciation, and melancholy for the moment that we currently are living and is slipping away from us as i write...but for me, if i don't record it somewhere, it's gone and i want some record...i always liked the idea of proust or kerouac writing enormous legends of their lives...that their books were one enormous narrative...that a story is a cumulative process, it is all important...i feel that way about art making...my favorites are the ones where you can look at the work and see the process...kai althoff, raymond pettibon, etc...anyway...i have been avoiding work long enough for today...i need to find another job...i am so bored...i need to get back into teaching...i hate reports and cubicles and sales (we actually have something called TPS report, no shit)...all i want to do is make work, listen to music, hang out, teach, talk about ideas and music and culture...fuck...i'm done.
i read your journal btw. you just usually leave me very little to comment on...
i don't really like long rambling journals, as far as reading goes. i like paragraphs and short parts. if i see something too long, it is sometimes more of a commitment than i am willing to make.
u will escape your cubicle if u want to...but, unfortunately, insurance and benefits are a neccesary evil. esp. with the kid and all. you'll figure it out.
and hey, what am i, chopped liver!??!?!
just kidding.