Feel pretty confused at the moment. LA doesn't seem like home anymore, Santa Cruz is something else. I still feel like im that little kid that used to be so happy. What happened? Where did things go wrong? Now that I look back I wish I had never smoked pot or done any other drug, it had really affected me more than I thought. Somehow I just have to learn things the hard way. Im not sure if anyone actually reads these things but it feels better just to get things out there. I just want to be happy, whatever that means. Wow this is going to be an interesting day, what a mood to wake up in.