sdsu28

I love my Dad, I think that is one of the hardest things for me to actually say. I just have to find a way to say that to him. Sorta random, but i've never believed in God or anything. I do hope that there is something out there, a place to be back with the loved ones that have passed away. I have been depressed lately, I think that I sorta just gave up on things. I remember this from somewhere, "There is too much beauty in the world!" I really just want to be happy, whatever that means. I have to admit that the way I feel while on coke is amazing. If there was a way to feel that without the drug it would be amazing. Sometimes I just feel alone, like I have friends but none in Santa Cruz that really understand me, maybe one. Most of my close friends are in LA and as much as I do talk to them on the phone its not the same. I am rambling on, but sometimes I think it makes me feel better to just type things out.

If anyone has any comments it would be very much appreciated, I need some words of inspiration at the moment.