So I’m going to try and do a monthly blog at least! I’m not very good at finding time for myself but maybe this will help!
So I’ll update you with what I’ve been up to since my last blog! I’ve been to Thailand, what an incredible experience! I can’t even begin to go into all the amazing details so I’ll bullet point my favourites:
- one of my best friends got married at the most beautiful wedding and I was a bridesmaid!
- I went on a boat trip with a few of my close friends and we saw all the cute islands surrounding the area we were staying, monkeys on the beach and everything!
- I bathed, fed and scrubbed a rescue elephant, she was in her 60’s and had been saved from being a trekking elephant, that experience was one I will never forget and feel so blessed to be a part of!
Since then I’ve got home and had to get stuck back into revision, I have my final exams on the 2nd April, they are practical exams where I have to complete 12 veterinary nursing related tasks following the correct steps using the correct equipment and method! I only have 6 minutes to do each step, it’s very scary.
Apart from that I’m working on my patreon, I’ve shot a new set for suicide girls, I’ve flown to offenbach to see Henry’s gig and I’ve all in all been trying to work on getting my mental health back to a positive place.
I lost my dad on my birthday last month and I’ve had a very weird mix of emotions relating to this situation, he originally left when I was just 6 weeks old and was an alcoholic pretty much all my life, therefore I held a lot of resentment, he moved to Spain when I was about 8 and this meant we stayed in touch only via email and it was rare I got to see him, however as he got sick my brother moved him from Spain back home and he started to improve, I however did not go to see him till he started to make the effort...the weekend he was meant to get out of the hospital he died, he wasn’t checked for four hours and within that time he had an asthma attack which led to a heart attack as the nurses and doctors were unaware due to not having him linked to any machines and not doing regular checks. For this reason my head is in a very strange place, one, if he’d been checked more regularly he would have possibly had his death prevented, two the hospital text and left a voice mail to tell my sister he died, three I feel like due to my own resentment towards him I missed my final chance to say goodbye.
I know this is not the usual blog I do of happy and excited thoughts but as people who follow me I thought it would be good for you to have an insight of just one of the things causing me pain and upset right now, however also explaining how despite this happening I still have to plod on and finish my exams, create memories and try to be positive.
The world is a hard and confusing place 90% of the time however it’s in all of our ability to try and accept the bad and push forward with the good.
I hope February brings me a more positive month than January and I hope as the months go on I’ll have less anger and resentment to the situation that happened.
I hope everyone else’s New Years started a little more smoothly however if they did not, that’s ok, take your time, talk to your loved ones...or anyone...even me...then breath and carry on. Everything will get better.
Thank you for taking the time to read this less than cheery post, keep showing support on my latest set, keep sending me fan art and messages and keep supporting the SG community which does so much for myself and other girls. I love you all!
Scribbles x
