So sporks.
It's bit of a spoon and a bit of a fork. It's okay if nothing else is available , but if you want curves, you get a spoon and if you want prongs you get a fork.
What? No that wasn't analogy for anything , why do you ask?
Sardonic internalized gender bullshit aside , here's some unexpected side effects of taking progynova (a synthetic oestrogen) for a year.
Like other than the obvious ones, these are the slightly absurd, "really?" ones.
Am now enjoying the music of kate bush. And not just Running up that hill, like I can listen to a whole album quite happily. Don't know how I feel about that.
Over reaction to cute animal pictures. Seriously. It's fun, but surprising.
Naked pictures of babes no longer deeply fascinating. Find self wondering how they did their make up like that and how they deal with ingrown hairs.
Sex has about a 50/50 chance of making me wanna die. Still sticking my hand in that particular toaster though.
Less satisfaction in head-punching classes. May need to re-evaluate career decisions. Hahah I joke. Career...HA!
Muscle mass pretty much the same. Hard to gain though.
No boob growth beyond something like a ambitious mosquito bite. Still hopeful the boob fairy will come visit me in the night if I leave it out candied rabbit hearts.
Is that what boob fairys like? Shit, need to research..
Now I'm just going to ramble
Yeah. Fur coats (mine is fake) are amazingly warm. I am only wearing 2 layers right now and not suffering hypothermia! Got mine at gypsy fair. Gypsy fair is weird intersection of bogan working class new zealand, hippys, carnys and new age bullshit. I also got amber resin which smells amazing. Feeling awfully pleased with self, in fur jacket , alarming short dress and pretty pretty SMELLS.
Ah Dunedin, will I ever miss your looks of disbelieve and disgust?
Some guy pretended to swerve at me today. I flipped him off and thought about fighting him. Had package I did not want to drop so acted like a sane person instead. Package is from art swap from fantasy writer who is unbelievable good. Was expecting book. Got 4 books, including one which is a signed number 2 of 2000 limited print run and leather bound with gilt page edges.!!!.
I don't know how to deal with something so fancy.
Everything I own is kludged, painted on, scavenged,half broken, stolen or stained. Such a precious object faces certain doom in my hands. But will do my best to not, like, "happen" to it.
I send said author a fabric Umberhulk and slackmoth , but they have not arrived yet. I think I'm going to make him a xorn, because fucking hell 4 books. If do not know what those are , internet them. Otherwise you will be forced to believe my lies.
Umberhulks are a type of compact burrowing giraffe constructed in outer Mongolia in 1900s as a solution to the complete lack of compact burrowing giraffes in outer Mongolia.
A Slackmoth is a type of drinks debubbler made from miscellaneous cat parts and powered by cold fusion.
And Xorns? Well if put your finger inside your butthole and feel that little shelfy thing that you have to angle past ? That's your Xorn.
It is strange and other things , this process of realizing one has left being a boy, and discovering that you are now arriving in another gender that you might not of willingly chose , "tranny".
Now I'm talking about my feelings about this , not anyone else's journey, so do not take any of this as guide to understanding anyone else but me, nor take as a dismissal of your struggle with finding your gender identity. More the fuck Power to you with that.
Anyway, let's flippantly disregard postmodern "there is no absolute definition of something therefore defining it is pointless/false/french word french word" . Like "hot" and "cold are subjective terms, but it is still very usefully to define something as either "hot" or "cold". And in this society there is things definitely a boy or girl. The more you zoom in and look at these monoliths, the more frayed the borders seem, and the more hazy it seems. Never the less, it's still a big fucking thing looming on the horizon. LIKE A BASTARD.
Um. So The monolith of boy is behind me, I'm still well under it's shadow, but as I approach girl, it seems inescapable to me the fact that there is things coherent to girl gender that I will never dare claiming a understanding of.
Like, say, having the risk of sex making a human being growing inside me. How fucking insane is that? Imagine if you had grown up in some bizarre sheltered lab experiment thing, and just now , at the age you are now, someone tried to explain where babys come from. Oh how you would laugh. "
Grow a human? Inside another human? what the fuck? How does is come out? Oh I guess you are going to expect me next to believe it comes out my vagina! HA! How the fuck would that work?!! Nice try buddy!"
Yeah, I don't think I will ever fully scope how that is incorporated into ones identity.
Also slut shaming? That's a topic too broad to go into depth right now.
And less specific things. Like I look at expressions of female sexuality and I wonder how that feels from the inside (.. no pun intended) . And I have to admit , I don't have a fucking clue. I can close my eyes and dress up nice and get butt fucked but.. its something else. Maybe if was into guys and more of a bottom I would have a closer understanding. But yeah, this other gender I now find myself arriving at. It's not where I'm from, and it's not who I feel I am, but maybe this has to be home.
Okay that's getting thoughtful and shit, fuck that noise. Um.. Seen my pictures of me wearing a lamb coat? It has a lamb on it. A friend made it for an art project/political statement but she lets me wear it sometimes because she thinks its funny that I think its funny. I am a exvegan , I have friend that are wavering vegetarians. They eat meat sometimes, and discuss what meat is the least gross. I generally get all amused but eye rolling and say "fuck it. It's a fucking corpse. It's all fucking dead things. If you are going to eat the dead stop trying to wiggle out of that fact. Carcass carcass carcass! ... If your'e not going to finish that, I'll have it.."
Princess out...
It's bit of a spoon and a bit of a fork. It's okay if nothing else is available , but if you want curves, you get a spoon and if you want prongs you get a fork.
What? No that wasn't analogy for anything , why do you ask?
Sardonic internalized gender bullshit aside , here's some unexpected side effects of taking progynova (a synthetic oestrogen) for a year.
Like other than the obvious ones, these are the slightly absurd, "really?" ones.
Am now enjoying the music of kate bush. And not just Running up that hill, like I can listen to a whole album quite happily. Don't know how I feel about that.
Over reaction to cute animal pictures. Seriously. It's fun, but surprising.
Naked pictures of babes no longer deeply fascinating. Find self wondering how they did their make up like that and how they deal with ingrown hairs.
Sex has about a 50/50 chance of making me wanna die. Still sticking my hand in that particular toaster though.
Less satisfaction in head-punching classes. May need to re-evaluate career decisions. Hahah I joke. Career...HA!
Muscle mass pretty much the same. Hard to gain though.
No boob growth beyond something like a ambitious mosquito bite. Still hopeful the boob fairy will come visit me in the night if I leave it out candied rabbit hearts.
Is that what boob fairys like? Shit, need to research..
Now I'm just going to ramble
Yeah. Fur coats (mine is fake) are amazingly warm. I am only wearing 2 layers right now and not suffering hypothermia! Got mine at gypsy fair. Gypsy fair is weird intersection of bogan working class new zealand, hippys, carnys and new age bullshit. I also got amber resin which smells amazing. Feeling awfully pleased with self, in fur jacket , alarming short dress and pretty pretty SMELLS.
Ah Dunedin, will I ever miss your looks of disbelieve and disgust?
Some guy pretended to swerve at me today. I flipped him off and thought about fighting him. Had package I did not want to drop so acted like a sane person instead. Package is from art swap from fantasy writer who is unbelievable good. Was expecting book. Got 4 books, including one which is a signed number 2 of 2000 limited print run and leather bound with gilt page edges.!!!.
I don't know how to deal with something so fancy.
Everything I own is kludged, painted on, scavenged,half broken, stolen or stained. Such a precious object faces certain doom in my hands. But will do my best to not, like, "happen" to it.
I send said author a fabric Umberhulk and slackmoth , but they have not arrived yet. I think I'm going to make him a xorn, because fucking hell 4 books. If do not know what those are , internet them. Otherwise you will be forced to believe my lies.
Umberhulks are a type of compact burrowing giraffe constructed in outer Mongolia in 1900s as a solution to the complete lack of compact burrowing giraffes in outer Mongolia.
A Slackmoth is a type of drinks debubbler made from miscellaneous cat parts and powered by cold fusion.
And Xorns? Well if put your finger inside your butthole and feel that little shelfy thing that you have to angle past ? That's your Xorn.
It is strange and other things , this process of realizing one has left being a boy, and discovering that you are now arriving in another gender that you might not of willingly chose , "tranny".
Now I'm talking about my feelings about this , not anyone else's journey, so do not take any of this as guide to understanding anyone else but me, nor take as a dismissal of your struggle with finding your gender identity. More the fuck Power to you with that.
Anyway, let's flippantly disregard postmodern "there is no absolute definition of something therefore defining it is pointless/false/french word french word" . Like "hot" and "cold are subjective terms, but it is still very usefully to define something as either "hot" or "cold". And in this society there is things definitely a boy or girl. The more you zoom in and look at these monoliths, the more frayed the borders seem, and the more hazy it seems. Never the less, it's still a big fucking thing looming on the horizon. LIKE A BASTARD.
Um. So The monolith of boy is behind me, I'm still well under it's shadow, but as I approach girl, it seems inescapable to me the fact that there is things coherent to girl gender that I will never dare claiming a understanding of.
Like, say, having the risk of sex making a human being growing inside me. How fucking insane is that? Imagine if you had grown up in some bizarre sheltered lab experiment thing, and just now , at the age you are now, someone tried to explain where babys come from. Oh how you would laugh. "
Grow a human? Inside another human? what the fuck? How does is come out? Oh I guess you are going to expect me next to believe it comes out my vagina! HA! How the fuck would that work?!! Nice try buddy!"
Yeah, I don't think I will ever fully scope how that is incorporated into ones identity.
Also slut shaming? That's a topic too broad to go into depth right now.
And less specific things. Like I look at expressions of female sexuality and I wonder how that feels from the inside (.. no pun intended) . And I have to admit , I don't have a fucking clue. I can close my eyes and dress up nice and get butt fucked but.. its something else. Maybe if was into guys and more of a bottom I would have a closer understanding. But yeah, this other gender I now find myself arriving at. It's not where I'm from, and it's not who I feel I am, but maybe this has to be home.
Okay that's getting thoughtful and shit, fuck that noise. Um.. Seen my pictures of me wearing a lamb coat? It has a lamb on it. A friend made it for an art project/political statement but she lets me wear it sometimes because she thinks its funny that I think its funny. I am a exvegan , I have friend that are wavering vegetarians. They eat meat sometimes, and discuss what meat is the least gross. I generally get all amused but eye rolling and say "fuck it. It's a fucking corpse. It's all fucking dead things. If you are going to eat the dead stop trying to wiggle out of that fact. Carcass carcass carcass! ... If your'e not going to finish that, I'll have it.."
Princess out...
I'll keep my fingers crossed for a booby growth spurt for you.
I would not want to make any empircal claims linking estrogen to Kate Bush.
Had a car load of boys yell some shit, drive off , hit a red light, stop, then realize I was gaining on them (ie slowly walking in the direction I had before) , panic and run the red light.