scott_davidson

Well, looks like I spoke too soon. She went out on Wednesday, didn't come home, lied to me about where she was staying, told me she needed some time off. Was gone Thursday night as well. Told me she'd come home Friday, but changed her mind within a few hours, and instead dropped in to pack a bag and left again. When I asked when she'd be back, I was told probably tomorrow or the day after. It's now nearly 7 on Sunday... haven't heard a word from her since an sms late last night. I can only assume she's not coming home tonight either. But here I stay, the pathetic excuse of a man she has reduced me to in the last month, because I can't leave in case she comes back. I'd call or sms her, but I'm afraid she'd break up with me over the phone, thus claiming my final shred of self-worth and self respect. How the hell does one go on from here?

She keeps saying she needs space, time to think..... she's had a few weeks, and four days of that without me in her life. How much time can she need? I think she's just feeling too guilty to actually face me to break it off. I have always done my best for her and bub, and up to this minute have not stopped loving her. I'm not saying I've been perfect; I've gotten jealous, and been unreasonable about some of her friends and some of the things she does.... but that's all a two-way street. You get over it and move on, right?

In closing, I have to wonder what it is about me that makes girls do this to me. At least the last one I wasn't still in love with by that stage....